Vortex

 

Every time he remembered his ex he was racked by guilt.  He had broken up with her over what she thought weren’t solid grounds. ‘You just want to dump me”, she had said. It wasn’t true - at least in his mind. She was talented, attractive, young, and extremely besotted with him. But in her devotion for him, she barely ever paid attention to anything beyond him. That was a concern. He loved her, but he also wanted her to pursue her talents and career - which she barely bothered about any while she was with him.  To her, the world began and ended with him. He had wondered earlier if his decision to part ways also stemmed from his belief that she would totally be dependent on him financially. He had decided to let go of that thought realising he would never be objective. 

Even after breakup, they stayed in touch. They had bumped into each other at some social dos too. She had even once asked him if there was a chance to get back together. He had answered in the negative.  One fine day, it all changed.  He had received a message from her saying she wants to take a break from her past, and hence cutting off people from her life. That included him too. “So long as you’re happy with what you are doing”, he had said. He wondered if it stemmed from her inability to get over him, and that was the beginning of his guilt. “Did I wrong her?” A year passed by, and it became two too. He had changed partners. But, the guilt stayed.

********

This morning, while browsing his social media accounts, he saw her pics and videos. He wondered if she had chosen to lift the embargo. It wasn’t so. He was seeing her in the uploads from other friends. He saw her with another man, dancing. She radiated happiness. He felt happy too, for her. And relieved for himself. He didn’t have to feel guilty anymore. 

He also wondered if he made himself more important than what he was in others’ lives. Like the world revolved around him!