Bringing Out the Worst in Me
My Outlook magazine’s cover screamed, ‘Top 20 Hindi Songs of all time’. They also gave away a free CD containing the Top 10 too! I looked at the previous issue of India Today and it had Best Colleges cover. It is the season of colleges, schools and songs that are the best. This fever is seen across both general and business magazines/publications and at times spreads to other media (read, NDTV 24X7) too! Some time back this TV channel had a poll to decide the best song of the year (2005, and ‘Kajra re’ won hands down).
India Today published its ‘well-researched’ annual list of Top 10 Colleges across various educational streams (engineering, medicine, law, etc. The special issue that enlists the top 10 management institutes should be in the offing sometime later this year)!
Having gotten bored with just seeing the top 10 at the level of education, the media has gone ahead and invented and inundated us with the TOP 10 lists. Now, we have Top 10 designers of the country, Top 10 songs on TV channels (or is it top 20?), Top 10 dating ideas, Top 10 states in performance/development and the like. Then again we have 10 top exercises to give you ‘that 6-pack abs or the perfect ass’ or whatever you want (take your pick)! The lists are endless. After so many lists, we should have some more too.
What kind of new lists would I want to see? The 10 Worst movies I have ever seen to begin with. 10 Worst ever Actors/Actresses. 10 Worst politicians living (leave the dead alone; they’re already suffering in their graves for missing out on all the fun)! 10 biggest sycophants. Of course, 10 worst ideas too! And, may be 100 worst songs ever (just in Hindi alone; you can make a 100 list for each of the languages that we have songs in. May be Marathi will score a 1000 list in this though)!
Here is the beginning of such lists!
The Ten Worst Movies I have seen
1. Titanic – A Hindi sob story on a much grander scale; the entire world sucked up to it! The box-office sank by the sheer weight of collections. Oscars went tipsy too!
2. Karan Arjun – The magnum o-pus of Rakesh Roshan on reincarnation with the two Khans. Tedium, delirium and bunkum!
3. Sir – Mukesh Bhatt’s ode to the teacher. Sir-dard to the viewers!
4. Yaadein – The movie that proved that Subhash Ghai’s lost it FOR GOOD (not that he ever had it though)!
5. Mrityudaata – a tantalising title for AB’s comeback vehicle. Fans and critics rushed in alike to watch. Sure Amitabh was a killer and audience died a hundred deaths in three hours!
6. Jumping Jack and the remake factory from the South – the names of the movies would be endless (those that I have watched include hits like Patal Bhairavi and Tohfa). It resurrected Jeetendra’s career and destroyed creativity in Hindi cinema for a decade!
7. Hum Saath Saath Hain – Cloyingly sweet, pleasingly regressive (pleasing to the Hindutva brigade), it seemed a movie on adult education in English with its song going, ‘A B C D E …’ teaching the entire alphabet!
8. Gadar – Sunny roared non-stop to the background (ear-piercing) wails of banshee Amisha Patel (she should easily get an entry into the Hollywood House of Horrors) and the audience approved all that with repeat visits! Hindu-Muslim harmony be damned. Ditto sensibility!
9. Independence Day – American jingoism at its nadir in this mega(lomaniac) movie. Seemed like the movie drew its inspiration from Tom Clancy and replaced USSR/China with an equally huge spaceship (and as brainless) from outer space!
10.Mars Attacks! – Eccentric Tim Burton proved that he couldn’t simply think straight! Sheer torture in the name of a spoof! Was also an eye-opener on the intelligence of the see-it-to-believe-it cast that agreed to die in the movie!
It would be fun to share/exchange such ‘pet hate’ lists with friends! A good way to spend a nice evening over a cuppa or a chilled beer?
Note: This post had been languishing on my PC for months now. I just thought I’d anyway post it (though not very happy with it). More Top 10 lists have appeared since then but I’ve not made any attempt to mention them. Too many and I have lost count!
India Today published its ‘well-researched’ annual list of Top 10 Colleges across various educational streams (engineering, medicine, law, etc. The special issue that enlists the top 10 management institutes should be in the offing sometime later this year)!
Having gotten bored with just seeing the top 10 at the level of education, the media has gone ahead and invented and inundated us with the TOP 10 lists. Now, we have Top 10 designers of the country, Top 10 songs on TV channels (or is it top 20?), Top 10 dating ideas, Top 10 states in performance/development and the like. Then again we have 10 top exercises to give you ‘that 6-pack abs or the perfect ass’ or whatever you want (take your pick)! The lists are endless. After so many lists, we should have some more too.
What kind of new lists would I want to see? The 10 Worst movies I have ever seen to begin with. 10 Worst ever Actors/Actresses. 10 Worst politicians living (leave the dead alone; they’re already suffering in their graves for missing out on all the fun)! 10 biggest sycophants. Of course, 10 worst ideas too! And, may be 100 worst songs ever (just in Hindi alone; you can make a 100 list for each of the languages that we have songs in. May be Marathi will score a 1000 list in this though)!
Here is the beginning of such lists!
The Ten Worst Movies I have seen
1. Titanic – A Hindi sob story on a much grander scale; the entire world sucked up to it! The box-office sank by the sheer weight of collections. Oscars went tipsy too!
2. Karan Arjun – The magnum o-pus of Rakesh Roshan on reincarnation with the two Khans. Tedium, delirium and bunkum!
3. Sir – Mukesh Bhatt’s ode to the teacher. Sir-dard to the viewers!
4. Yaadein – The movie that proved that Subhash Ghai’s lost it FOR GOOD (not that he ever had it though)!
5. Mrityudaata – a tantalising title for AB’s comeback vehicle. Fans and critics rushed in alike to watch. Sure Amitabh was a killer and audience died a hundred deaths in three hours!
6. Jumping Jack and the remake factory from the South – the names of the movies would be endless (those that I have watched include hits like Patal Bhairavi and Tohfa). It resurrected Jeetendra’s career and destroyed creativity in Hindi cinema for a decade!
7. Hum Saath Saath Hain – Cloyingly sweet, pleasingly regressive (pleasing to the Hindutva brigade), it seemed a movie on adult education in English with its song going, ‘A B C D E …’ teaching the entire alphabet!
8. Gadar – Sunny roared non-stop to the background (ear-piercing) wails of banshee Amisha Patel (she should easily get an entry into the Hollywood House of Horrors) and the audience approved all that with repeat visits! Hindu-Muslim harmony be damned. Ditto sensibility!
9. Independence Day – American jingoism at its nadir in this mega(lomaniac) movie. Seemed like the movie drew its inspiration from Tom Clancy and replaced USSR/China with an equally huge spaceship (and as brainless) from outer space!
10.Mars Attacks! – Eccentric Tim Burton proved that he couldn’t simply think straight! Sheer torture in the name of a spoof! Was also an eye-opener on the intelligence of the see-it-to-believe-it cast that agreed to die in the movie!
It would be fun to share/exchange such ‘pet hate’ lists with friends! A good way to spend a nice evening over a cuppa or a chilled beer?
Note: This post had been languishing on my PC for months now. I just thought I’d anyway post it (though not very happy with it). More Top 10 lists have appeared since then but I’ve not made any attempt to mention them. Too many and I have lost count!
posted by Quintessential Critic (Sudhir Narayana) @ 8:06 PM
6 comments
6 Comments:
It seems the top tenners are de rigeur these days:) You may soon find So & So's Top 10 boyfrds/GFs........
And they sure are moneyed. We were aghast to see that SP Jain has been shifted from 4th/5th to 14th and beyond the 'ponytailed' IIPM, who everybody says, advertises false information!!! Public opinion says that all listings are similar
I got here from...somewhere but I'm glad I did b'cos I see that you list Temple of the King as one of your favourite songs. I've been looking for it for a million years. Any chance that you're likely to put it up for download? :-) Sorry, I'm just being plain greedy :-)
Ghostoftomjoad: Hi! Well, your visit prompted mine to ur blog (and I liked some of the things you've written).
I'm trying to work a way out to get you the song. Since I don't know how to do it, I'm taking help from friends (also please check out my comment on ur blog - on the 'brutus' post)!
Hi, read your comment. Thanks :-)
About the song, like I said on my blog, if it's a problem, don't bother. Do it only when it is convenient for you to do so. Now that I know where I can get the song, there's no hurry :-) Please take your time. And, thanks for even considering putting up the song..
A recommendation on getting 'Temple of the King'. The number is available on a collection called 'Rock Idols'. The compilation has been brought out by Universal Music. It's available at Planet M in Mumbai (I don't know where you reside). You could try!
Got your note, thanks :-) Will try at Planet M...I will be going to Bombay very shortly. Thanks again :-)
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