Gratitude

My face lit up, breaking into a broad smile.

Reconnecting my phone after a much-needed, internet-free holiday with my partner, I expected a deluge of work messages. What I didn't expect was the flood of congratulations. As I scrolled and read, the reason became clear: at his recent retirement farewell, a former colleague, Nagaraj, had publicly credited me with saving his life from depression and self-harm.

The memory jogged back immediately. Years ago, I was heading a different office when Nagaraj arrived, new and completely unreliable. Work was shoddy and absences were frequent. Instead of initiating disciplinary action, I asked to meet him. Nagaraj and his wife came in and revealed his severe depression, triggered by long periods of separation due to distant postings. I immediately promised them my full support, guaranteeing flexible leave and a transfer to a role where Nagaraj had once excelled, as indicated by his former colleagues. I saw to it that he had an empathetic manager, and I made a point of checking in on him myself occasionally, just to reassure him that he was safe in the office. Over time, Nagaraj’s attendance and quality of work visibly improved.

The case had faded into the background over the years and a few transfer, only briefly recalled when Nagaraj was one of three retiring officers who invited me to a joint farewell lunch just before my own beach vacation. Now, the overwhelming impact hit me.

Nagaraj’s wife had also reached out: "Grateful for the faith you reposed in him. He’s almost as good as he used to be.” 

I knew the power of that support. I had faced my own dark moments during unceremonious transfers, and I’d found solace and strength in the help of colleagues and strangers. I closed my phone. "What goes around comes around," I uttered aloud. My partner, who was observing me without a word, gave me a hug and said, “just like us”.