Manuscripts and Meltdowns

One of the designs I had come up with for the book cover

24 April 2026

Morning

My Publishing Manager called with the tone of someone delivering a royal decree: “Sir, I’ve sent the redesigned cover. I believe it is... suitable.” I checked it. To my relief, it actually looked like the design I had created, a massive leap forward from their first attempt.

“I’m happy with it”, I said.

“They couldn’t exactly find the fonts you had used in your design, Sir”. 

“That’s okay! I can live with it”. 

“Send an email approving it, Sir,” she replied. I did, faster than a marathon runner at the starting gun.

Moments later, she called back. “If you give the go-ahead, we’ll release the book today.”

My brain stalled. It’s one thing to *want* to be a published author; it’s quite another to actually *be* one by lunchtime. After some frantic thinking, I gave my assent.  Soon enough, I received mail and messages confirming my book has now been published, and one could place orders for them to be delivered. 

I had a reason to agree to go live immediately. April 24th is my "official" birthday (the one on the documents, if not the calendar) and the birthday of the legendary Kannada matinee idol, Rajkumar. As a fan of the man, it felt more like a cosmic alignment than a happy coincidence. 

The news went out. I urged family, friends,  and colleagues to buy the book with the subtle desperation only a first-time author can muster. Only when people asked, “Aren’t you having a formal launch?”, did I realise I hadn’t even planned a party. It had happened just over a click of the button. 

Congratulations soon poured in. Sales happened! My cousin Vivek was the first to order. My closest friend Choten received the very first copy, which felt like a good omen. When my own physical copies arrived, holding them felt magical - at least until I gave copies to my parents and decided to do a "quick victory lap" through the pages.

Now, keep in mind: I had authored, edited, and proofread this manuscript until my eyes couldn’t take any more. I had hunted for typos like a predator. Spelling errors? None. Grammar? Perfect.

And then, I saw them…..

In two different stories, I had somehow managed to swap the characters' names. My blood turned to ice.  “I’m an author now” ego shriveled into a "How Do I Delete the Internet" panic. I was certain that readers wouldn't notice the plot or the prose; they would only see that *Krishna* had inexplicably become *Raghav* mid-sentence. Ditto with Ravi and Julian. 

Those few typos became a magnifying glass for every insecurity I held. I questioned the relevance of my stories and my very ability to tell them. It felt, in that moment, like dreaming of being an author was a bit of a fool’s errand.

For the next several hours the only thought I had was, “Everyone will notice these errors; and that will be the talking point about the book. The mistakes.” My overworking brain even suggested I should withdraw the book from sales and offer refunds to everyone who had already bought it.

Thankfully, the world disagreed. A colleague called to say the stories moved him so much he wanted to buy a copy for his boss at the Ministry. A friend messaged: “I just read the first story. It rings so true.” 

Good sense (and a bit of exhaustion) finally prevailed. I didn't flee to the mountains or halt the sales.  The book has since sold over a hundred copies without a single firework or ribbon-cutting. Even my harshest critic reached out to say the writing was "fresh and highly readable," comparing it to a famous author. I took that with a massive pinch of salt (possibly all of the salt in Indian Ocean) but it felt good.

Writing might be easy, but finding acceptance is a marathon. Validation is the fuel that keeps us writers/authors going, and these reviews have given my dreams the wings they needed. Even if Krishna is occasionally Raghav, the heart of the story remains. 

And, here are the links to the book, if you are interested to grab a copy for yourself. 

https://amzn.in/d/0gkOwwBA

https://notionpress.com/in/read/petals-and-paper-cuts?book=published&utm_source=share_publish_email&utm_medium=email