Birthday Blues

Of Carpets and Runners!

“Sudhi…”. Mom called me. “Will you come here for a moment?”

I was just doomscrolling. Reluctantly I left the couch and went to her. “Yes, mom”. 

She took money out of her bag and extended it towards me. “Here”. 

“Why?”

“Your birthday is around the corner. I want you to buy some new clothes for yourself”. 

It’s almost an annual ritual.  Ever since they’ve come to live  with me, mom has been offering me money at my birthday. I did accept when I turned 50 (felt good to be loved and pampered), but not thereafter. 

I gave my usual defence. “I have already bought some, mom”. 

“Already? Show me”. 

“Oh! You don’t believe?”

“I just want to see. I know you love clothes anyway”. 

I sauntered back to my room and picked up the pieces I had carefully curated for my impending big day: a dusty pink shirt with a subtle self-design, and a printed grey-black party shirt. One for the day, one for the evening - just in case I stepped out. I grabbed the matching trousers too

“See. These are the ones”. 

She peered at them, and gave me a thoroughly dismissive look. 

“What?”, I asked. 

“One looks like a table cloth and the other a curtain. Couldn’t you buy any better?”

“Mom, these shirts aren’t cheap. Custom-tailored. They cost me ₹10k!”

“Looks like you want to merge with the doors and windows now”. 

“Mom!”

“And also pay by burning a hole in the pocket!

“I like them”, I said petulantly. 

“I like them too, but on furniture. And you’re not a sofa. Now, go get something that look good on you, and don’t argue”. I opened my mouth but nothing came. And, mom? She had gone back to watching her soap. 

Moms are impossible to please! Why is it that they set some impossible standards for their sons?  I’ve shared the pics of the shirts. Do you agree with her? If yes, help me correctly distinguish the table cloth from the curtain. Thank you!