New Alphabet: K for English!

No, no I am not turning into an Ekta Kapoor fan! Nor her serials either (Talking about Ekta, I really have a suggestion for her though - why can't she call herself Kekta Kapoor for more success of the K kind?). It's about the latest Kontroversy in the land of Kauvery and Kannada! And surprise, surprise, it doesn't have anything to do with Tamil!!

What’s the best thing about people from Karnataka? They’re very adaptable! Ditto with the worst thing about them. Surprised? If it’s coming from a Kannadiga, it must be true! And, I’m a Kannadiga and I’m talking truth. Even the commonest phrase in Kannada says, “Swalpa adjust madkolli” (thoda adjust kar lijiye)!

And, that above popular phrase has English if you notice! The craze to talk in English is at its peak in Karnataka – you’d find it everywhere. At households you’d see the semi-literate mother/father talking to their children in English (or at least in Kannada smattered with the choicest phrases and words from English). Schools impose fines on children who speak in Kannada (starting from Re.1 to any number of rupees for EVERY Kannada word spoken)! You’ll see teachers and lecturers talking EXCLUSIVELY in English with each other many times and you’d hear ludicrous sentences like, “No, no madam, I’ve more experience with girls” or “I on the platform very strict; below eejy (easy)”. Don’t be surprised if you hear a university student telling you that he’s graduating in ‘generalism’ or even ‘germanism’ – it’s journalism! You’ll hear children fighting while playing and hear such choicest abuse like, ‘bloody basket’. Novelists writing in Kannada too don’t lag behind. They write, “I’m having lunch today at the hotel. The cooker’s ill and hasn’t come to work” or “you are a silly foolish”. Parents say about their two-year olds, “he already has started speaking in English. Ramu, sing that rhyme?” and very proudly announce to anyone who will hear, “Next year we are going to send him to kaanvent” (Mind you, EVERY English medium school is a Kaanvent to a Kannadiga)!

The English affliction has not left anyone in its wake. English-speaking is so internalised by Kannadigas that it’s become a part of their hereditary material (‘it’s in my jeans’, they might exclaim)! Lawyers, politicians, Kannada activists – everyone has succumbed to its deadly charms. You’d hear about protests from the activists from time to time against the ‘step-motherly attitude’ exhibited by the government in promoting Kannada in the state and they’d address their news conferences in English (and invariably their children would be studying in English-medium schools). Politicians too give their sound bytes to the national media in English (grammar or vocabulary or accent or meaning be damned; you’re a progressive politician only if you speak in English)! The best example is that of doctors who REFUSE to talk to their villager-patients in Kannada (I’ve an uncle of this kind too) and give all their lofty advice in English (it’s certain their practice thrives)! You’d find medical students (particularly girls) sharpening their language skills on auto-rickshaw drivers (“hey, play some music yaar!’’)

Even the Kannada superstar and icon, the late Rajkumar couldn’t stop himself from singing in English in his movies (“Eef you come today, it’s too yearlee; eef you come tomaarow it’s too late. You fix the taaime..daarleeeng” went the refrain from his equally hideously named movie, ‘Operation Diamond Racket’. Another song was, Laave me or hate me; khiss me or khill me. Ow daarleeng please do something to me – eye popping!). There are many other English songs in Kannada movies (I hope you guys don’t ever have to bear the torture though). And, the haughty heroine always talks in English (and is tamed by the hero to talk in Kannada). And, the best platitudes on Kannada come in songs again in movies and surprisingly picturised on heroines imported from Malayalam or Mumbai!

Every now and then the government jolts upright and says, ‘We need to do something about the dismal state of Kannada in its own state’ and then they come out with ordnances that ‘BAN’ English/Convent education in the primary classes. A lot of drama would follow. Parents and Padres of convents go hand-in-hand and protest peacefully by pelting stones on all public transport (what’s a loss of a few millions for a just cause?).

This isn’t the first time the state of Karnataka has banned English education in primary schools and derecognized English medium schools. And, certainly this won’t be the last time either. It’s the story of the stale wine in a disposable plastic tumbler. It’s a circus that visits its patrons regularly. It’s a ghost that possesses the politicians periodically. There’s no new wine in production. The circus isn’t changing its tricks. The ghost has no ghost-buster! But, they’re generally harmless and all things – after a lot of hype, hypertension to parents, media-space, debates inside homes – come back to normal. Children continue to learn Kannada in English!

But, I do have a suggestion to the government (good guffaws aside, it’s serious) to avert such crises in future. Why not convert ALL government run schools to English medium and all private schools into Kannada Medium schools? This role-reversal would sort out many problems at one go. Parents would rush to Government schools for admission. Government will have more revenue to spend on education (as parents would willingly give ANY fee that would be asked to ensure their children learn only English), there won’t be anymore forced ‘donations’ at private schools and peace – I don’t know if that will be English or Kannada - will reign in the state for centuries to come!

(On a serious note, ask children if they’d prefer to talk in English or Kannada at schools, and in a moment of complete candidness, they say, “Kannada”)!

Top Ten (Things TO DO)!

It’s 9 months since I’ve stepped into Bhutan – have I delivered? Soon it’s going to be a year. On a serious note, I have a few things to accomplish amidst all the fun, frolic, laziness, lack of work, despondency, longing for company, and hope.

By the new year (i.e. 1 January 2007), I would want to attain the following objectives.

1. Get fit and regain my six pack abs (now, regain is a really strong word as I’ve almost forgotten how many years – or decades - ago I actually boasted of such abs)!
2. Finish reading AT LEAST 50 books – cover to cover - by then (my meter’s already running and I’m HOPELESSLY racing against time and tedium)! At last count, I’ve read 20 books only.
3. Conduct classes in HR at the Royal Institute of Management. I really have to kick my own butt if I fail in this (well, there are too many others who’d be more than willing to kick, including Col. KM who made the opening at the institute possible).
4. Go for at least 5 more treks – and this would be slightly slippery as the winter would set in rather early this year. I should talk to Pema to take us to the mounts beyond Chapcha (they’re snow-clad)!
5. Regardless of reticence and non-cooperation, change the system of procurement and contract conclusion at the Project level. I know this would be the TOUGHEST but it’s good to take up a challenging task (gives a GOOD high when you succeed)! All that stands between success and failure is my laziness and a sense of déjà vu.
6. Consult an ophthalmologist and explore the options to rectify my vision with laser therapy. If feasible, get it done. Surely something else could be the first noticeable thing about me than my squint!
7. Make at least ONE SERIOUS attempt to quit smoking – now I’ve lost count on the number of attempts I’ve made. But, the last time I’d tried I’d quit for over 10 months. That gives hope (also unnerves that I might go back despite the period I’m out of nicotine)!
8. Get over ONE inhibition – oh I’ve many and I’d be better off with one less for sure!
9. Get my passport done – who knows I might want to go to Thailand if my pay package gets fatter (fat chance, but still…)!
10.Have a blast on the New Year’s Eve (and preferably away from the colleagues)!

Cloud 9

I was on my walk as usual – in the company of Col. NC, an extremely fit and muscular man at 54. The weather was overcast and the mood was slightly damp with the fear of a torrential rain – as we would find no shelter from the ice-cold showers on the way.

“They’re still packing the apples. The season doesn’t seem to be over yet”, NC remarked, observing the plastic tents and some people at work above the road. Before I could react, a child ran across the road and came to me with a chocolate candy. “This is for you”. I was surprised. He – I learnt his name was Karma Wangchuk – also gave one to NC. “Thank you” I gushed and beamed at the first ever friendly (voluntary) gesture from a Bhutanese. A little girl – “My name’s Wangmo” she said – and told, “it’s my birthday today”. I wished her ‘Happy Birthday’ heartily and asked her, "is that your brother?" She said, "No", pondered over the right word to say in English for a moment and continued, "he's my friend"!

I have been wearing a big grin ever since. Feeling million bucks.

9/11. A Date Revisited.

How ironic could it get in reality? The day when Gandhi launched his Satyagraha movement against Colonialism he wouldn’t in his weirdest thoughts have dreamt that the same day would also be the landmark day for violence! 2006, 9/11 marked the centenary of the launch of Satyagraha movement (and the fifth anniversary of the Twin Tower bombing by al Qaida). But, I am not talking about these two events here. Something else caught my attention. The protests against the Loreto Convent in Lucknow. It couldn’t have happened on a more historic or a memorable day! It was in a way the most twisted (and yet a most appropriate) tribute to mark the centenary of Gandhi’s movement.

What the Convent authorities did – the spiritual session invoking Jesus and involving all children – is gruesome. How could they do it in this era and with children present, without the consent of their parents? What is it that they’re teaching in school? And, the retaliation of the Hindu activists is condemnable too. I really wonder if there was any protests by the parents (if they didn’t, why again?).

I think the government should do some serious rethinking on the running of schools by religious denominations. Not just Christian but any religion. Do we need religious education and propaganda at schools aimed at children of an extremely impressionable age? Is it not corruption of the minds?

Convents are very popular places for education and sought after by parents. They thrive on the discipline they inculcate in the children that attend them and on the hefty donations paid (in turn for a seat) by the parents of these children. It’s a win-win situation for these convents. One, you get huge funds to run schools; two, you carry out religious propaganda.

If the authorities want to impart education on religion, then regardless of what religious authority is running the school, it must teach the salient and benevolent features of every religion that is practised in India (and the world). Propagating either Christianity in convents or Hinduism in Gurukuls in the name of Moral Science must be made a culpable offence.

But again my ramble isn’t about this school incident either. It goes beyond that.

Hindu activists have been vocal and ebullient in their protests against the Christian missionary activists in the past decade. It has seen some extremely unsavoury incidents too, including the murder of Staines, the rape of a nun in MP. It also led to the ugly comment by a minister who declared with all his religious piety that the Gujarat earthquake was a punishment meted out by God to those attacking the Christians!

It’s fashionable – thanks to our Hindi movies – to go to a church. You’ll find young lovers going to the church and praying a la Shah Rukh and Kajol! It has nothing to do with religion though. Christmas gets more media attention than a Diwali or a Ramadan.

Where is Hinduism headed? To my mind, the only place is ‘oblivion’. Is it headed to its doom because of conversions, the onslaught of other, richer religions (read, Islam and Christianity)? My answer to that is no. Are the fears of mass-conversions of the Hindu brigade real, justified and true? Again, the answer to anyone who does a little soul-searching, is no! If so, then why is Hinduism staring at its dark end?

Hindu activists who protest against the conversions are looking at the reasons outside the religion for its troubles. But, what’s wrong with conversions? I see no wrong; at least not in practical terms. Regardless of the motives of the missionaries (I don’t know what are they called if they belonged to Islam) they are doing a yeoman service. They are definitely removing poverty from the tribal areas, bringing in funds, educating the people, providing them with health care, occupation and other benefits that are MORE important to survival than religion itself. In the bargain if these less-privileged people convert themselves into a new faith, who’s to blame? The missionaries? That’s stretching anyone’s logic beyond the surreal too! I am not talking of the ethics of the missionaries. I have my grouses against them. I despise the pressure tactics that they use. I don’t approve of their pushy ways. But, I don’t find fault with conversions per se.

The answer to Hinduism’s slide lies in the practice of the religion itself. Hinduism is the only large Pantheistic faith left in the world (despite the adaptations that Jainism and Buddhism have made to include many Gods and Goddesses as part of their religions). Every other major religion is Monotheistic. But this again isn’t the reason for the downhill movement of Hinduism. The answer lies in its caste structure – the Achilles’ heal. We probably have more castes in Hinduism than the number of countries in the world. We have more differences among castes (and more caste-related violent incidents) than the differences between any two religions. We always identify ourselves by the caste we belong to than by the religion or by the country. The discrimination based on caste is more evident, real and disgusting than that based on religion. Whenever anything goes wrong, it’s always ‘the other caste’ that did the damage. Be it in case of a candidate losing election, a reservation episode or a colleague’s harassment.

Some castes feel superior to the rest and many other people belonging to the ‘lower castes’ think that they are inferior to the higher castes – a sense ingrained in them thanks to the 3 millennia long oppression. None other than a Brahman is eligible to offer prayers at a Hindu temple. Sanskrit is still their language (that it’s long dead is another thing; but it’s the language of the Gods who soon might be dead like the Greek and the Roman Gods). These aren’t just advocated by Brahmans alone but also most other castes! And, the caste distinction is understood by a child even before he understands what puberty is!

With our internal affairs such, would there be a lifeline for the survival of the religion that we follow? I believe not. Nor do I think it should survive – at least not in the way it exists, if there’s any chance of it. Would there be any soul-searching by those that carry the torch of Hindu pride? I think not. That’s only for armchair thinkers like you and I. Damn the religion; what matters is personal gain at the end of the day!

So, would there be a 9/11 in the history of Hinduism too?

The Argumentative Indian

I always wondered why I would invariably get into arguments. Not just get into one but also invite an argument, revel in it, relish the feel of the rushing adrenaline regardless of the outcome. In fact some wondered aloud of my sanity when I wrote in my profile, ‘debates and arguments’ as one of my interests!

Now, I know why. The reasons for my loquaciousness, my rumbling rambles and ‘have-to-have-an-opinion’ were clear as day light as I started reading, ‘the Argumentative Indian’ by Amartya Sen.

And, what shine brighter than daylight in the book is the intellect, reason and insight of the author. A person who could argue while he was at High School that Krishna in the Bhagavad Gita got away with an incomplete and unconvincing argument surely must be something more than a genius! An economics professor making structured, erudite and logical arguments about the history of India and its dialogic traditions is a rarity. But what’s rarer is the compassion with which the entire book is written without either going bombastic (about achievements) or apologetic (over failures) and nowhere losing track of being forthright and simple, gently firmly and consistently telling us to preserve the tradition of heterodoxy the country has always exhibited over the past several millennia. The review by Bibek Debroy says, “Every Indian should read this book”. I (as humbly as my ego would permit) second that!

Before I go any further, I must confess that I am no authority on Indian history nor can I hold a candle to the intellect of Dr. Sen. Still I have a few arguments of my own against some of the statements that the author makes in, ‘The Argumentative Indian’. As an erstwhile student but yet a keen follower of history and as an interested citizen and voter of the polity and lastly as Dr. Sen himself says, since every person has the right to present his argument, I make mine. And, my arguments are just based on what I have read in the first section of the book consisting of three essays.

The first statement of Dr. Sen that I disagree with and hence argue against is, “Buddhism … … was the dominant religion of India for nearly a thousand years”. I have an argument against the deductions of Dr. Sen about his assertions on the reasons for the defeat of BJP in the last general elections. Dr. Sen states that the BJP lost its elections largely (or primarily) because of the Gujarat riots of 2002.

On Buddhism as the Dominant Religion of India
My understanding is, while Buddhism was largely present in India and received royal patronage, it never grew to become the dominant religion. While benevolent Kings like Asoka, Kanishka and Harsha tried to propagate it, the religion didn’t take great roots (unlike even Jainism). The reasons? I’ll enlist them as under:
a) The Chinese scholars called India ‘the Buddhist Kingdom’ because of the origin of the Buddha and Buddhism in this country. Also the scholars spent a large amount of their time in the Buddhist Universities of Nalanda, Taxila and Amaravati that would’ve influenced their understanding of the country.
b) The agnostic tradition of Buddhism was anathema to the general population (that Buddhism itself adopted the rituals of Hinduism and other religions over time is testimony to this)
c) The initial enthusiasm and euphoria of a religion without rituals and discrimination ensured mass following but then it declined rather rapidly
d) The number of Buddhist patron kings was rather restricted. Every Buddhist dynasty/kingdom was followed by a staunch Hindu dynasty that tried its best to revive the prospects of the Vedic religion (E.g., Sunga dynasty after the Mauryas)
e) The peninsular India had rather remained insular to the influence of Buddhism (though Jainism did take root) except in parts of Andhra Pradesh during the rule of Satavahanas.

On the Electoral Rout of BJP
Indian voter votes more because of caste, local issues than national issues. Attempts to make the voter more intelligent than he is or trying to oversimplify the complexity of an Indian election would not be fruitful. It is amazing that Dr. Sen attempts it!

If riots were the cause for electoral defeat, then the BJP wouldn’t have come to power in the first place. If public memory was any longer than it is (that includes you and I) the BJP wouldn’t have grown from strength to strength and then lost power. Dr. Sen tends to believe the ‘Leftist’ argument that the electorate ‘punished’ the allies of the BJP in the NDA because of their tag with the saffron brigade. That again doesn’t seem to be true.

BJP lost elections because its election campaign largely was not understood by the voting masses. The slogan of ‘India Shining’ was neither popular nor explained in the rural areas. They couldn’t relate to it. Building of roads or opening up of economy or sale of PSUs didn’t seem to make sense to the rural voters. It is also a fact that the large support base that the BJP enjoys among the educated, middle-class Hindu households didn’t vote during the elections and preferred to stay away and have a good holiday. It’s possible that these ‘supporters’ had ‘assumed’ that the votes of the rest of the junta would suffice to bring back the BJP to power.
Also, the BJP’s last-minute ditching of the DMK in favour of Jayalalitha proved expensive. Had BJP continued with its alliance with the DMK, the NDA tally would’ve risen by 35 seats! And, Telugu Desam lost in AP because of the ‘supposedly anti-farmer’ stance of Chandrababu Naidu. It was a rout. Shiv Sena’s hold in Maharashtra has been on the wane (proved through several elections in the state). Mamta Banerjee’s reputation of a ‘screamer’ had completely been established. Also, Trinamul Congress’s hold in Bengal was at an all-time low with Mamtadi’s antics and tantrums reaching a new crescendo. The alliances in some Northern States too went kaput. All these were the causes for the loss of power of BJP (the results stunned everyone including the Congress and its allies; none in the country had expected these results).

(At least in the first section of the book) Dr Sen doesn’t talk about the extremist elements of the other religions in India. The criticism is limited to the Hindutva brigade. True, the militant Hindutva elements deserve the strident criticism of Dr. Sen but what about the extremist elements from other religions and their influence in the rise of militant Hindu sections? I firmly believe that the fear psychosis that a large section of the Hindu population suffers from is baseless. Again, if the Hindu religion is on a decline it is largely because of its own internal reasons and no reasons lie elsewhere outside and the heinous campaigns of Bajrang Dal and the VHP against other religions need to be universally condemned as also its efforts to look at Indian history and culture from a narrow prism, as Dr. Sen asserts. But at the same time, one cannot be silent about the twisting of facts being done by others too!

My diatribe aside, Dr. Sen has ignited (should I say, reignited) a fire in me to read and learn more about our own country. The number of references he has used to write his essays made me realize my own inadequacies (and feel ashamed). So, I have resolved that within my tenure in Bhutan I would at least read 100 works. And at least 25 books would be non-fiction and related to issues that affect the world in general and India in particular.

Amartya Sen’s book consisting of 16 essays is divided into four parts. I would write further on the impact of the other essays contained in the book. I also recommend (and beseech) to all those who come across this entry on my blog to pick up the book and read. Let the minds wake up to a new light.