Put Life to Test - II

Another of the tests I took on tickle. Just for fun!
(And, I couldn't agree more on the results)!



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Ms or Madam President?

“Who is Pratibha Patil?” asked my colleague. “Is she related to Shivraj Patil? Is she his wife?” as the news channels flashed the ‘Breaking News’ of her being nominated as the consensus candidate of the UPA for the post of President. That seems to be the level of knowledge about the (possible) incumbent President of India – though Ms. Patil is currently the Governor of Rajasthan and has earlier served as Minister 7 times in the Government of Maharashtra. Of course the media went into a tizzy and flashed a flurry of facts and titbits about the ‘Pratibha’ of Ms Patil including her ‘sportsperson’ credits from her college days.

As coincidences can be it also came out from the reports that both Ms. Patil’s husband and Mr. Shekhawat, the independent nominee from the NDA (and the current VP) hail from the same village! Some contest this is going to be. Even before this furore could die down there came the announcement yesterday from the Third Front (it appears even when there’s NO front, a Third Front springs up at the most inopportune times) under the ‘august’ leadership – among others – of ‘amma’ Jayalalithaa (I hope I’ve got her spelling right; else she might not let me enter Chennai the next time). The UNPA (the Third Front is called so for want of creativity) announced that it will ‘request’ Dr. Kalam to be their candidate. Wow! And, Mr. Shekhawat promptly followed suit saying he’d be very happy if Kalam becomes the consensus candidate of everyone and if so, he’d withdraw his candidature. Now, Rajnath Singh too has joined the chorus on consensus! Meanwhile Bal Thackeray says Kalam is 'not in my heart' anymore - one wonders who can ever stay in the Old soon-toothless-but-still-can't-stop-trying Tiger's heart!

Why did the politicians not consider this in the beginning itself? Is this how we treat a ‘good’ President? UPA doesn’t want a non-political candidate. ‘Left’ doesn’t want ‘lightweights’ but is ‘happy’ with Ms. Patil (since she’s a ‘lighter’ weight).

Kalam for sure has proved his credentials as the President. A far cry from the days of ‘cronies’ of Madam or the party or ‘nincompoops’ that have adorned the Supreme post under the constitution.

To make matters interesting Pratibha Patil has left the Left fuming with her ‘choice’ remarks about the ‘veil’. Left probably would cry hoarse that it’s a ‘veiled’ attack on the minorities! Just when I wondered if her candidature would be withdrawn in the ‘light’ of her utterances, I hear the news that Sonia and the PM have signed her papers as The Candidate. “I’ll not be a rubber-stamp President” Pratibha grandly proclaimed to the news channels. May be this wasn’t heard by Sonia (even Man Mohan Singh dare not utter such a significant statement)! Or was it a part of the script ‘approved’ by the ‘High Command?’

Pratibha would be filing her nomination papers only by the end of this week. There surely could be more things ‘brewing’ than ‘decoction’ in ‘amma’s coffee filter’. But I only wonder in the event of Ms. Patil eventually becoming the President, would she be addressed as ‘RASHTRAPAT’N’I’? Or would Sonia invent an Italian neutral word for the seat?

Indian politics makes more compulsive and riveting viewing and offers more drama, sabre-rattling, excitement, intrigue, twists, turns and emotions than all the daily soaps put together. It just needs a little ‘marketing blitzkrieg’ to get more TRPs than the ‘saas-bahu’ sagas! Is Ekta listening? Of course Ekta should first find a ‘K’ word for the President!

Put Life to Test

Ah! The latest Test I was offered free by Tickle. Thought I'd post the results here

(And for those interested in such fun tests, RUSH! It's free until 24 June)!



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The Karma Test
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Serial Killer!

The killer is on the prowl looking out for new victims. Killing might seem madness to others but not to the killer. It’s a madness suffered by the victims and not the killer! People have deserted the streets, malls and movie-theatres and have opted for the safe haven of their homes in the hope of safety but they haven’t been spared.

The killer is not a he in this case but a she! Is she a psychopath? How many has she killed already? How does she lay her trap? Is she a siren? Beware! You could be her latest scapegoat!

You might not even notice her at the first glance. Even if you did, you might not give her a second look. But then she’s there around you almost always. You can’t ignore her try as you might. Your initial disinterest turns to feigned disinterest very soon. And before you know you’ll be hooked by her charms. She beguiles you with the stories of her suffering, her little triumphs, her great losses, her indomitable spirit, her single-minded devotion for her people. If her ‘babe-in-the-woods’ theme doesn’t work on you she’ll don the ‘stree-smart gaon-ki-chori’ incarnation. Even once you wouldn’t wonder, “Is she for real?” And before you could arrive at that question you’re gone!

If you think it’s probably only men who are her victims, think again. Both men and women of all ages have been victims. In many households even children haven’t been spared!

She is a past master in disguises. She could accost you as a Punjabi kudi. Or a Gujarati behn. Even a Rajput rajkumari. Did someone say Marwari? Yes, that too! You never know in what avatar you would find her! She could be Manjeet one day, Mamta on the other and Meena on the third!

Who is she? Who does she kill? What are her motives?

Her motives are simple. She wants to get rich. And she’s indeed rich already. She kills for money. She is ruthless, means business and runs a huge empire.

She doesn’t kill people physically. She just leaves them brain-dead, comatose. Men, women and children are turned into zombies that act according to her will and command. Their time, money and space become hers. She dictates what they do with their time and money. She helps other businesses sell their wares to these zombies – from dictionaries to diapers.

She is the daily soap you watch.

The Countdown Begins...

“Which batch are you from?” CG asked me. “1998 Sir”. “Who else is from your batch?” “Sir, there’s Manish Tripathi, Rajalakshmi, Pushkal…” “Oh! You are from Rajalakshmi and Manish’s batch? Young man you are being promoted! I could’ve issued orders before I came here. Now they would be issued either on Monday or Tuesday.”

The CGDA, Mr. Jnan Prakash was on a 4-day visit to Bhutan and this conversation took place in Punakha. I was of course surprised by the news. My previous batch was promoted only last month and now, promotion of my batch was taking place – that was pretty fast by the slumbering ways of the department. However, I wondered about the ramifications of the news. It seemed to be there on my face too.

“Why? Aren’t you happy with your promotion?” CG asked. “No Sir nothing like that. I just was not expecting it. May be I’ll take time to digest this”. I could easily register the news and digest it. What was beyond me then was my future posting. What would happen to my Bhutan tenure? Would I continue until two years would be up or would I get posted out? I learnt this soon enough. “You can’t stay here as JCDA. Soon expect your marching orders from Bhutan” CG broke my reverie. I was tempted to ask him, “Sir where would I get posted to?” but didn’t.

The process to select my replacement in Bhutan has already started (since this is a foreign posting – though with limited financial benefits). Two juniors have already called up if they should say yes for this selection. One seems highly reluctant because of limited financial gains (“only Rs.20K extra per month? So UN posting would be better you think?” he drawled over phone).

The news of being posted out soon from here has brought about a lot of mixed emotions in me. The loss of extra money that I earn is the last on the list (though it would surely make a difference to my fledgling finances). I am worried at the prospect of being posted to Delhi. Also the very thought of working under someone through the day, week and year is frightening (especially after having had independent charge ever since I began my career). As I accept the inevitability of the premature move I analyse the impact. The pluses and the minuses of the untimely promotion.

The pluses include:

- I will have ‘some work’ to do. Unlike here. I hope that the work would be meaningful too (I am sorely aware that I’ve already seen the *best* postings already – not Bhutan, but the previous ones as the financial advisor in Vizag and Mumbai).
- I’ll be back among friends and intellectually stimulating conversations (!!). But for the limited access to net, these were absent in Bhutan. The officers of GREF and Army surely didn’t make great companions but for playing cards or drinking. And, there is a limit to enjoying solitude!
- Transfer to Bangalore (a hopeless case right now) will mean that house-building activity can be monitored without any trouble to parents.
- It is possible that I might get active (mentally) again.
- Of course access to fresh newspapers, broadband internet and social networks have their own advantages too (however small they might be)!

Now, to the minuses:
- My fitness levels would surely drop (no more dreams of maintaining 6-pack abs or 8km walks everyday)
- No more invigorating treks and monastery-visits
- The dream of travelling across Bhutan and particularly to Bumthang to visit the mysterious Naked Tsechu will stay unfulfilled
- Of course a total monetary loss of around Rs.150K for the left-over months of my tenure in Bhutan (this surely would’ve been handy in house-building or to pay off Sirish’s loans)

I know there’s only a remote chance that I’d ever travel to Bhutan again. Even after knowing I’d be out of this place in a month or two from now I can’t travel anywhere in the country as I’m expecting dad and mom here end of this month. It’s possible that Kumi (my sis) and other friends too would be visiting me before I leave. So, it’d be the same package of travel each time these people trundle in and out – Paro, Punakha, Thimphu and back!

I had wished to travel to Gasa (one can travel by road only half way; the other half is covered by either walking or on mule-top) and take a dip in its hot springs. I had longed to see the blue sheep and blue poppy in Lintshi during my treks. I had dreamt of the reindeers of Bumthang and the black-necked Siberian cranes in Phubjika. My endeavour to write about the penis motifs of the Bhutanese art and architecture too is incomplete. I also had an idea of travelling across Bhutan, take pictures of the nation in its various avatars and make a coffee-table book for myself (I didn’t think I’d be able to convince a publisher to bring it out; so just a copy for myself). Worst of all, I might not get to meet His Majesty again (I wanted an autograph from him)!

I guess it’s natural to lament on all those things that you’ve missed out on or you’d miss out on when you leave a pace. I’m going through the same phase. But I know it’d be over sooner than I imagine!

And, for all those friends who were so eager to travel to Bhutan and explore its beauty but didn’t/couldn’t, ‘Bad Luck dudes’! And, I wish myself a ton of good luck! Tashi Delek!