Serial Killer!

The killer is on the prowl looking out for new victims. Killing might seem madness to others but not to the killer. It’s a madness suffered by the victims and not the killer! People have deserted the streets, malls and movie-theatres and have opted for the safe haven of their homes in the hope of safety but they haven’t been spared.

The killer is not a he in this case but a she! Is she a psychopath? How many has she killed already? How does she lay her trap? Is she a siren? Beware! You could be her latest scapegoat!

You might not even notice her at the first glance. Even if you did, you might not give her a second look. But then she’s there around you almost always. You can’t ignore her try as you might. Your initial disinterest turns to feigned disinterest very soon. And before you know you’ll be hooked by her charms. She beguiles you with the stories of her suffering, her little triumphs, her great losses, her indomitable spirit, her single-minded devotion for her people. If her ‘babe-in-the-woods’ theme doesn’t work on you she’ll don the ‘stree-smart gaon-ki-chori’ incarnation. Even once you wouldn’t wonder, “Is she for real?” And before you could arrive at that question you’re gone!

If you think it’s probably only men who are her victims, think again. Both men and women of all ages have been victims. In many households even children haven’t been spared!

She is a past master in disguises. She could accost you as a Punjabi kudi. Or a Gujarati behn. Even a Rajput rajkumari. Did someone say Marwari? Yes, that too! You never know in what avatar you would find her! She could be Manjeet one day, Mamta on the other and Meena on the third!

Who is she? Who does she kill? What are her motives?

Her motives are simple. She wants to get rich. And she’s indeed rich already. She kills for money. She is ruthless, means business and runs a huge empire.

She doesn’t kill people physically. She just leaves them brain-dead, comatose. Men, women and children are turned into zombies that act according to her will and command. Their time, money and space become hers. She dictates what they do with their time and money. She helps other businesses sell their wares to these zombies – from dictionaries to diapers.

She is the daily soap you watch.

Mad(dening) Ads

Having nothing much to do these days (injury-time, so no long walks, no treks, no gym) I have been watching TV. It also helps because it’s the cricket-tennis season. If you watch TV you can’t ignore the ads. And if you watch ads, you’d have your favourites, pet-hates and ‘what-was-that-again?’ ones. On a single day I watched several ads that caught my eye – all for the wrong reasons.

The new Ariel ad. Mom lovingly talks about the son’s love for oil-massage (chumpee) before sleeping as the boy’s shown leaving oil-stains all over the place. Now, the boy left the stains on the pillow-case but the mom shows off the clean bed sheet after the wash! An easy way to escape being panned for the inability to wash off oil stains I guess?

The second was that of Gillette Shaving gel - ‘Daadi hai ki jhaadi’ ad. I noticed a glaring faux pas. The groom gets off the train and the welcome party of girls simply ignores him (even as he bows to them) and walks towards the compartment’s door even before the other boy (groom’s friend) can appear (how did they guess that the one who’s gonna get out of the compartment would look better than the groom?). Another thing about the ad was how the groom managed to shave the other side of the friend’s face without turning him and waking him up! Beats me!!

Incidentally both ads are for products of P & G. I hope the firm wakes up to its follies.

Ultratech Cement’s (formerly L & T cement) ad was the corniest of all. ‘Chalo India banaaye’ slogan irked me no end. I don’t know if anyone buys such stuff (both cement and the message) anymore! One another ad that came a close second in being the most irritating was that of Voltas AC. The Tatas haven’t been known to make the best commercials. I was thrown back to the 80’s (or early ‘90s) when the Tatas were still in the FMCG market and had introduced Effermint toothpaste. The toothpaste ad still probably ranks as one of the worst ever ads made (I don’t know which agency made this ad though) in the country. Another one that grated my nerves was Airtel ad (‘Ab baap ko rulaayega kya?’). But the ad’s continuation is really good.

I liked the Greenlam Laminates ad’s concept. But the execution is really tacky. ‘Dikhaane ka jee kare’ but what is being shown off is hardly impressive!

The last campaign didn’t really boast of any such glitches. It was for NRHM (National Rural Health Mission) – a clutch of ads using Celebrity endorsements to promote the importance of mother’s health for the health of the family. They could’ve made the ads better by telling (the masses) that these stars are not only successful actors but also successful mothers too. And, why are they showing these ads on NDTV24X7, CNN-IBN and such other channels that won’t be watched by anyone who needs to get this message? Of course these channels are NOT airing these ads for free? Another way for the babus to squander public money!