Irrfan Khan: The Forever Struggler

It was in 2003 that a new director burst on the screen with a fresh movie, Haasil.  Even though the movie was headlined by Jimmy Shergill, Tigmanshu Dhulia had ensured that another actor in a negative role had an equally meaty character.  Irrfan Khan made an impact.  And, the director-actor then went on to collaborate in many successful ventures.  Irrfan won his first Filmfare award too for his performance. The same year Maqbool released and I couldn't take my eyes off Irrfan Khan.  The movie was an amazing adaptation of Macbeth by Vishal Bhardwaj.  In a powerful role, a relative nobody playing the titular role had managed to outshine Pankaj Kapur and even Tabu in the movie.  An actor at last had arrived on the scene.  Someone who didn't look like a regular hero.  No chocolate looks.  No chiseled features nor a body to stare at.  Yet here was someone who could mesmerise the viewer with his effortless acting and amazing voice. 

Another movie in 2007, 'Life in Metro', established the versatility of the actor beyond doubts.  In another author-backed role, Irrfan shone as a bachelor desperate to get married.  Many movies happened, Irrfan made a transition from being an art house actor to even a commercial one; Billu, produced by Shah Rukh Khan, made decent money.  He managed to keep even a mundane 'Gunday' alive with his acting chops - and the movie surprisingly made money.  He also smoothly crossed seas and appeared in acclaimed movies in Hollywood.  He teamed up with Tabu again in 'Namesake', based on Jhumpa Lahiri's Pulitzer winning novel of the same name. He went on to become the most well-known Indian actor overseas.

Irrfan won hearts with Pan Singh Tomar, another Tigmanshu Dhulia direction.  He went on to win the Best Actor trophy at the National Awards.  His turn in 'Lunchbox' tugged at everyone's heart.  2015 saw him appear in two of his best works, 'Piku', and 'Talwar', the movie that brought the murder of Aarushi Talwar to screen.  There were other Hollywood movies along with the way too.  'Life of Pi', 'Jurassic World', 'Inferno', and so on.  In 2017 he starred in his biggest hit of the career, 'Hindi Medium', a laugh-riot with a message. 

What most did not know was Irrfan began his acting career with 'Salaam Bombay', a movie rated one of the best ever, and features regularly in World Top 100.  That was in 1988.  And, it had taken a good 15 years of struggle for Irrfan to be noticed. Between  And for over a decade he had not received an offer to appear in any cinema in that period. And, again, just when he was at the height of success and popularity, he was diagnosed with a rare form of cancer.  He was barely able to finish shooting for 'Angrezi Medium', after his treatment for the disease.  While he was under treatment he even wrote poingnantly about the struggle to come to terms wth his illness.  

From 2003 for just over 15 years Irrfan stayed in the limelight.  He was one of the rare performers who never was in news for any reason, right or wrong.  It is just his work that spoke to the auidence.  He made the mundane appear endearing.  His acting gave a new meaning to the word, 'effortless'. Every role came alive and became utterly believable because Irrfan became them. Unlike the stars who would be themselves in every role, movie after movie.  Among the many shining zircons, Irrfan was an unassuming diamond. 

It was no less than a miracle that Irrfan had risen from obscurity to become a star. There was no further miracle in store for him.  His struggle with the fate occurred again and it claimed him this time.  

Farewell Irrfan! May you rest in peace.  May you never be troubled by the struggles you faced again.

Response and Reaction

Shreesha Bhat, of Akanksha messaged me casually one evening.  I had just then seen their message on instagram that the Trust was conducting a week-long workshop for young students on various topics.  Corona and times of social distancing ensures that the workshops are all conducted online.  I asked him if I could be of any use.  And, he lapped up the idea and asked if I could handle one of the sessions, most preferably, Personality Development, on Sunday.  I agreed readily.  I like interacting with students.  I had begun missing my stint at the Regional Training Centre, and those training courses that I'd design along with my other faculty.  

The Sessions (there were two sessions of roughly 1 hour and 15 minutes each, including the interactive, question and answer time) went well - even though to begin with I felt strange to look at myself on the laptop screen and address students that I could not see nor gauge their reactions to my delivery.  One of the enduring line in my sessions was about how we react to a situation, and how we must change from reacting to responding.  There were several questions too from the participants to explain the difference between the two, and how to practice it.  I confessed to them that even though I advice this I too would be caught on many occasions, reacting to a situation than responding, as desired.  Honesty certainly helps, I had mused. I had not known then that I would be facing certain litmus tests soon enough, regarding this.

 Despite the lockdown, slowly I had started returning to a routine with respect to my fitness and even exhorted Sirish, my friend and colleague, to join in.  We would go for walks followed by a session of stretching and strengthening exercises.  After a few days, Sirish became irregular.  He would either miss walking or stretching sessions, and sometimes both.  His blood pressure had begun to be on the higher side, particularly as the day progressed.  He had begun monitoring it every eight hours when he first noticed that something was amiss, and had gone on to monitor it every three hours while awake.  I wondered if it was also due to stress factors, at both home and work. He had not joined me for the stretching session last evening, but had promised to join me for the walk this morning.  

Promptly at 6:30 Sirish called to tell me he was ready for the walk.  I asked him to give me another 15 minutes.  As we went for the walk, I asked him how his hypertension was.  The response surprised me.  "It came down after the walk yesterday, and then slowly started rising up again.  By evening it was pretty high".  "But, isn't the pressure supposed to go up after exercise?", I mused aloud.  Sirish agreed too.  He also said, "If it stays up today too I will consult my friend and start medication for the time being, until complete investigation is possible post lifting of locdown".  The doubts that his hypertension was basically because of stress factors - largely his own creation because of how he reacts to situations at home and work - continued to gnaw at my mind, even though he stoutly denied.

During the regular calls we were exchanging, I learnt my sister, Kumi, wasn't keeping well.  For quite a while she had been complaining of continued body aches, and they had progressed to include small joints (in fingers, etc.).  When today I saw that she was still online at 7:45 IST, I messaged her.  "Why aren't you asleep yet?" And, she responded, "Unable to sleep because of pains".

My sister (and family) lives in the UK.  In Leicester.  Both she and my brother in law are medical practitioners (coincidentally, Sirish is a qualified medical doctor; and his wife Yamini too is a medical practitioner).  Too many doctors in my life.  Apart from these close ones, there is an assortment of doctors strewn in the family and friends circle!  Many times I also notice them talking to me as though I am one too - using every medical term known to them, without bothering to stop and explain in plebian terms what they mean.  Sometimes I interrupt and ask; sometimes I search online for the meanings.  At others it becomes evident as they continue to indulge me with further details. 

I wondered within about my sister's continued ailments.  I thought the reason she battles them frequently was because she is pretty reactive.  Maybe because she was alone with her daughter and found it difficult to manage the fears of a spreading pandemic I was casually judging her within my mind.  That instead of responding to the situation: accepting that she is unwell and calmly dealing with it, she intensely reacts with negative emotion of not wanting to go through it.  I even thought I should write a mail to her about how she is reactive, and not responsive.  

And, then the penny dropped! It was not Sirish nor Kumi that were being reactive.  It was me.  I was easily being reactive to their plight.  I was jumping to conclusions, and passing judgments on their suffering than being responsive to their need; the need for empathy, understanding, and support. It is possible they are being reactive, but it is not for me to judge that or point out.  It is for them to realise; maybe after they have first received adequate love and support while they are suffering.  It also dawned that I was being equally reactive with my parents, and they were being awfully nice by not ticking me off.  I felt silly, stupid, and slightly ashamed at my thoughts.  I understood - for the first time in a long time - what I must do now.  Just be with them, as a pillar of support and strength.  And, not a thorn of irritation and pain.  As a hand that soothes.  Not as the one that points a finger and accuses.  

In the hurry to find fault with others, it was so easy to commit so many of them myself.  All of us are reactive - unless we become aware of it.  And, it is possible we are less reactive in certain spaces, and more reactive elsewhere.  For example, I am less reactive at workplace.  I don't easily bite even the most inviting bait there.  But I am a different person at home altogether.  There could be reasons or excuses for my behaviour - valid and invalid.  But they do not matter.  What matters is the choice we make - to react to or to respond.  To empathise or to judge.  That is a good lesson to learn.  I hope I will remember it and practice it too.  Always. 

Politics of A Wedding

The wedding of Nikhil, son of former Karnataka Chief Minister, Kumaraswamy, with Revathi, also from a political family, was in news for all the wrong reasons.  Though stoutly defended by the ruling CM of the State, the celebrations were roundly criticised in the times of crisis.

Kumaraswamy sees Nikhil as his political successor.  He tried to launch his son in movies and produced a few but has not been able to establish him in the industry as a bankable hero.  Nikhil last year stood for Parliamentary elections from Mandya and lost to Sumalatha, the widow of Ambarish, another matinee idol.  And, just when the dates for the wedding were decided, the country saw the eruption of coronavirus infections. 

The avowed political first family of Karnataka decided to go ahead with the ceremony nonetheless because they thought there would be no other good dates for the wedding.  They made all the right noises too - that there would be few guests, and everyone would follow social distancing, and so on.  They even made a media announcement begging forgiveness from their loyal following for not inviting any of them to the function.  They probably were trying to lift up their sagging political fortunes.

What transpired on the ground was different.  While only 60 guests were to be allowed at a wedding, there were certainly over hundred teeming at the venue, going by the pictures that went viral.  No social distancing was visible anywhere.  Over 40 vehicles were given curfew pass to the venue.  It could have been more too.  And, the policy of only two people in a vehicle was not observed either.

To a politician, almost any publicity is good.  It ensures s/he stays in news.  It matters politically.  Ask Vatal Nagaraj.  Similarly, for a family that is becoming irrelevant slowly in politics of the state.  Their influence is limited just to Hassan and a few other burrows.  Even within their own community, the grip is slowly easing.  Deve Gowda is not growing young anymore; nor is he as popular.  Even though Kumara Swamy is considered pragmatic and likeable, his decisions to promote son have not been popular nor successful.  Revanna, the other son of Deve Gowda, is a wheeler-dealer than a leader.  

The family ideally should have deferred the wedding and released a press note that people matter more now than their own personal happiness.  However, if it was absolutely keen to conduct the wedding in these times of the pandemic, could surely have found innovative ways to do so.  And, won loads of hearts.  Easily, they could have organised a wedding at a Registrar's Office, limited to a dozen people.  And, set an example by shunning all ostentation.  One, it would have sent a message that the family is responsible and is concerned about the well-being of everyone.  Two, the family would have looked progressive if they had shunned rituals - even if temporarily.  Loads of new-age voters would have given a huge thumbs up to that.  Particularly the urban voters - areas where the party hardly has any ground and needs to concentrate.  The party would have reaped a lot of goodwill then.  And, possibly Nikhil's stars might have changed for the better.  Now, they do not seem to be - even though he has a star in his life now (Revathi).

By creating negative publicity for themselves, the Gowda family has in all likelihood written their political future an early obituary.  Even their staunch supporters would think many times to support the reckless behaviour they have exhibited.  As they vacate their exalted space in politics, we soon need another party to rise and take their place soon.

Black Water Lilies: A Review

The entire country is under lockdown.  Our offices are working on skeletal strength.  Even though I am attending the office everyday I do not have adequate work.  What better way to spend time than catch up on reading! Thankfully I have a stack of books that I am yet to read.  One of them was 'Black Water Lilies', by Michael Bussi.  I am reading the translation of the original French work, a murder mystery. 

Set in Giverny, a small village and home to the celebrated painter Claude Monet, the book generously uses its backdrop - both the village  its famous resident and art - as ingredients of the novel.  It tells the story that purportedly happens over 13 days, which begins with a murder, and ends with another.  The central character of the book is an old woman who every so often comes and narrates parts of the story, and how she is able to see everything in the village - because she lives in the high tower, and how she knows all the answers, and yet we have to wait with patience to get to them.  

It begins with the murder of Morval, a local ophthalmologist and art collector.  And, it appears that there are several who have a motive to kill him.  His wife.  The husband of a woman he was besotted with.  Other random liaisons he has had over time.  Other art collectors.  The murder is investigated by a team of police, headed by Laurent, a man of passion and intuition. His deputy however is all about attention to detail, gathering of evidence, and sticking to the right investigation processes.  Who gets to solve the murder?

The book is about Fanette, a prodigious 11-year old artistic talent, who wants to escape from the suffocating small village into the wide world.  It is also about Stephanie, a seductive school teacher, who wants to escape a loveless marriage.  And, yet again, about the old woman who flits in and out of the book regularly, telling us acerbic tidbits about the local people. 

 When you pick up a murder mystery what ingredients do you look for? A good plot, quirky characters, a gripping suspense that stays alive till the last page, and unexpected twists would top the list.  And, Black Water Lilies delivers on all these and more.  The narration for most part of the book is deliriously delicious.  Even as I wanted to race to the climax, I yet didn't want the book to end, and I hung on to every word and sentence.  The writing style is so lucid that the art of Monet and the village of Giverny and its people come alive. 

This is certainly a book that I would recommend.  Even without the plot twists and deceptive narrative tricks, the book would be immensely readable.  And, what stays more than the suspense and the lyrical beauty is the emotional sucker punch the book delivers in the end.  It did stay for days with me.  If you love reading, go grab it.  I know, you can't rush to a bookstore.  But, then ebook is very much in your reach.