Cultural Appropriation!

 

Friday evening. The entire office is in a spin. Loads of people are working across different conference halls over an important ppt! Madam isn’t happy yet with how the presentation prepared to be made to the bigwigs was shaping up. Phone calls from the HQ were relentless. “Is the ppt ready? The Big Man wants to see it before you guys present it tomorrow”. More flurry of activity, more screams and shouts follow. 

I gently intervene - so as none gets offended - and get the ppt finalised as is. I was getting antsy as we all had to dinner too, post work. I possibly would have skipped the invite but for two facts. My boss had ensured I would get an invite and had several times inquired if I was joining. Didn’t want to disappoint her.  Two, I was going to have the company of a good friend and colleague so I could suffer the company of the ‘bigwigs’ visiting the town to conduct their study across different organisations.  

My friend and I make it to the venue of the dinner - the Leela - just in time, despite traffic and detours. The hotel is plush, well decorated, and gently nudges you to say it is upscale. Doesn’t scream like its counterparts in Delhi! We learn that the guests have already arrived and are seated. The dining hall gives me a strange feeling. People from different organisations are seated at different tables, with little to no efforts to meet and greet each other up.  Like islands in the sea. No contact. When eyes meet there are no smiles, just cold stares.  We too occupy a table, along with other colleagues (invites are limited to a select few from each organisation, keeping in mind the dignitaries and the dining hall’s size). Soon, the starters begin to be served. Sanskari dinner. So, no alcohol. 

An MC takes over the mic and announces that the cultural programme will soon start. She says the troupe will present classical dance forms from across India, that celebrate our ancient culture. Two ladies begin the show with a performance of Mohiniyattam. It is followed by other dances, including Kuchipudi, Bharatanatyam, Kathak, and Odissi. We even witness an energetic performance of Kalaripayattu, Bihu, Bhangra, and Yakshagana. All these are rounded off by the troupe matching steps to the peppy ‘Jai Ho’!

To be fair, the troupe of dancers and performers were good. They were skilful. Each pair danced in tandem and rarely missed matching steps with their partners. Even when a technical glitch stopped the audio and the background video the kalaripayattu expert didn’t miss a beat, and continued with his performance like nothing had happened. That is the best I could say about the entire concept. The rest of it was completely filmy!

One, they used the film song from ‘Kantaara’ for the Yaksha Gana performance, and it was more like watching Bharatanatyam in a folk dance costume! Mohiniyattam performers weren’t dressed in the traditional attire of the dance. Bihu performance too was made to an Assamese film song. They even danced to the popular Ila Arun-Sukhwinder number, ‘Dholna’.  I didn’t realise Jai Ho was some unifying anthem until I watched it the third time now! 

This isn’t the first time I watched a medley of performances comprising of various dance forms. I was treated to such shows at a few other places, including Kevadia and Delhi, when I had attended some conferences. Back then too Inhad wondered why these shows were put up and whose ideas were these!

In our hurry to promote ‘Bharathiyata’ and ‘Parampara’, we have put ourselves on the slippery slope of adopting Bollywood as the template. Or, arriving at a least denominator that kind of represents the four corners of the country. Faux integration of the nation over some film tunes! True, Bollywood and all regional cinema too are part of our evolving culture, and nothing has made the rest of the country relate to each other like cinema. But, is this what we want to put out there as the window to explore our rich culture?

In the name of promoting Indian culture, we are dumbing it down, and assuming the patrons to be dimwits! I am still wondering what the message is behind such programs. Whoever is behind such ideas, need to stop for a moment and think who they want to reach out to with these shows and performances, and what they want to convey. Than putting up mechanical set pieces in the name of rich Indian culture! 

Tailpiece:

The best thing of the evening? Three actually! One, food was thankfully not insipid like the performances! My friend loved the mutton biryani. I agree with him, even though I do not eat red meat! I gorged on some delicious rabdi and jalebis!

Two, someone who I had met over two decades ago recognised me at the party - suddenly! He and his colleague said, “He was inspiring then, and he’s inspiring now too’. Earlier, it was because I had cracked the Civil Services, and influenced others to write too. Now, because I wear earrings and giving fashion goals to the retiring people! What a journey of inspiration!

Lastly, I got to dress up, wear a suit and feel good. Feel good because I have lost a couple of inches over the last few months, and I could wear a suit that was impossible to get into last year. Below is a picture of me preening over this little factotum! 

Freedom of Expression

 National Holiday. Nationalistic sentiments sweeping across the country. She too felt an urge to celebrate the fervour and share a picture on the social media, all decked up. She even pinned a National Flag button buddy to her Kanjeevaram saree, used the timer on her phone and clicked her pic, beaming all her 32 intact. 

“Let’s  celebrate our freedom and uphold our Constitutional Values”, she captioned the picture and posted it on all her social media handles. Many admired her sartorial sense, while many others just conveyed the wishes for the occasion. 

Much later in the day her now-friend-now-foe ex messaged. On whatsapp. “May I know what are those values you want to uphold?”

In a mildly confrontational mood, she responded. “You may not. Denied”. 

“Why?”

“I’m just celebrating my right to freedom of expression!”

Pat came the response. “That's the kind of values, I guess.. hardly any difference between you and the *dictator*” 

She smiled. And calmly wrote back. “No wonder you adore the *dictator*”. 

#truetales #talltales

Feet Firmly Fixed!

When it comes to keeping me grounded, my dad plays a huge role. You’ve also seen me sharing a few snippets of what my dad does to me and my ego. 

Well, he’s not the only one though. I also have a great friend who plays a similar role. When my dad isn’t around, or when my wings appear not snipped enough, he rises to the occasion and does the job. Thought I would share some of such experiences that ensure I stay firmly on terra firma!

Talents and Skills

I’d bought a gift for my niece. I wanted to send it to her for her birthday. Someone was travelling to the UK, and I thought I would it send it with them. Gift wrapping was in order. And I was struggling to pack it decently. My friend who was watching me in anction,  asked me to move aside and took over the task. 

In no time the gift was wrapped nicely. It looked like a professional job. He was always meticulous. Even when he would drop in to my office he would set things in order - which usually would be in disarray. He would even go to the extent of cleaning my spectacles - which invariably would be greasy, smudgy, and dirty. 

I laughed as he finished packing, and said, “if I were living in ancient times I would have struggled to survive and perished soon”. 

“Why do you think so?”

“Look at me! I have zero survival skills. I’d not have hunted because I can’t see blood. I’d have killed an entire field of plants trying to grow them. No artistic or carpentry skills. How would I have eked out a living?!”

“Well, if you were in ancient society, you’d have been a shaman or a priest of the tribe”, he smiled. 

My spirits rose. I imagined myself in ancient time, in long robes and a longer staff in hand, like Gandalf from the Lord of the Rings! “Oh yeah, I can totally see it. Trying to cure people of their blind beliefs, or their mental troubles!”, I said excitedly. 

“Or giving them some”, my friend added. Totally deflating me. 

Normal Me

Another time, we two were sitting and sipping coffee. My friend was reading something interesting, and shared it. 

“Do you know the most plastic surgeries involve the nose?” That sure was news to me. Me with my thick lips had imagined that most people might want to fix them. Well, that too was not true, as I had seen a lot of stars going in for lip enhancing surgeries!

“Wow! I remember even Sridevi had got one done. Not that it made her look any better. Wonder why people want to fix their noses though”, I droned on. 

“Because, as per a survey, more people are unhappy with the shape and/or size of their noses than any other part of themselves”. 

“Hmph! I love my nose though. Never had any issues with it”. I lovingly massaged my own nose and felt good. 

“I was talking about normal people. When did you last exhibit any sign of normalcy?”

I’m still smarting. For that repartee. And also for thinking I alone make up the majority. 

There are a lot many stories to narrate that involves this friend. More will find place in a book, whenever I manage to sit and write. 

#truetales

#shorts

Holy Cow!

Bringing back an old post of mine (with minor updates). 

Time changes everything.  Our comforts, habits, even language, as our culture evolves. As we see a revival of Hindu pride, we have to let it make its mark on the international stage too. What better way than making those much needed changes in English lexicon!

Since beef and cow are the new benchmarks of purity, an international expert committee on English language (with yours truly as a member) has suggested the following changes in usage and meanings.

Beef (n): Mythical meat of a sacred animal, cow. Consumption of beef causes gods to bristle and punish the sinners.  Punishments are meted out through a special task-force called Go-Rakshaks/Lynch Mob.   

Sub-text: Recently, her cousins, bulls and buffaloes, too are clamouring for the same status for their meats. And, some gods are in favour of granting it.  Other gods are worried it may cause strife.

Beef (v): (Beefed, Beefing) Old Meaning: To strengthen

Replacement: Buffalo (Buffaloed, Buffaloing)

Reason: Buffalo is found more appropriate since they're thick-skinned and heavier, and hence offer more protection.

E.g., Security has since been buffaloed up for the minister of animal husbandry.

Beefy (a): Old Meanings: Bulky; muscular.

Replacement: Oxy, Buffy

Reason: Beef is godly and cannot be used casually, and needs an 'earthy' replacement. 

Usage examples:

1.  He looks quite buffy in the buff.

2.  He's so oxy that I guess he's on steroids. 

Cow (v): Old Meanings: To frighten.

Replacement: Already existing words like, bully.

Reason: Cow is not only sacred but a very brave animal.It is disrespectful to suggest cows are easily frightened. 

Sub text: There were demands to alter the words, cower and coward too. However, the Committee is discerning enough to understand these words do not originate from cow. Hence, they stay as they are. This also shows that cow loving Hindus are not oversensitive and illogical. 

(To be Continued)....

P. S. Is a disclaimer needed? 😅