From Lucy-dity to Acidity: Movies Review

 I have had the fortune of watching two back-to-back once-in-a-decade kind of movies over the weekend. Both were thabks to the recommendations of my ‘significant other’.  

Lucy (2014) starring Scarlett Johansson explores the theme of utilising 100% of one’s brain and its outcome. Lucy is a stupid girl who gets tricked by her wasted boyfriend to deliver a package to a mafia don. The mafia has synthesised CPH4, the chemical that supposedly makes a foetus grow. In a quirk of fate/luck, Lucy who’s now made a mule to carry drugs, gets a whole bag of CPH4 into her system resulting in her brains to open the floodgates of awareness and functioning. From barely managing to survive, Lucy goes on to vanquish everyone at 20% performance, and becomes omniscient, omnipresent, and omnipotent  - in other words, God/immortal - by the end. To make matters easy for the viewers, the film tells us whenever Lucy’s brainpower has expanded. She also voices over what capabilities get added at each phase - for the sake of us lesser mortals! She even bottles up her essence into a pen drive for posterity! It is an outrightly delusional movie, that for reasons best known to the (m)asses became a runaway hit, when it was released. 

Kraven the Hunter (2024) is a Marvel movie about a vigilante out to finish off all the criminals in the world, with his special powers. Sergei Kravenoff is the son of a Russian don, and has shown huge promise to succeed in his dad’s big footsteps. Fate though has different plans. He almost gets killed by the biggest lion ever in Ghana (which has by then killed only 3000 people and had failed to kill the writer/director of this movie). He’s saved by the magic potion of a young girl with a crazy name (I thought it was Chlamydia, but Sayambhu insists it was Calypso). He wakes up yo become the greatest hunter ever. He is every beast rolled into one - hawk’s vision, lion’s courage, a bison’s thick skin and skull (pun certainly inten-dead), and a tiger’s ability to scent a trail. Last checked he hadn’t yet grown a baboon’s tail. It’s the cringiest movie on any side of any ocean! Terrible dialogues, mindless violence, tacky graphics, bad English, and situations and actions that completely defy logic, explanation, or sense, are the hallmarks of this great movie. Even ‘Aquaman’ feels like a cerebral masterpiece in comparison. 

Don’t ask me why I chose to watch them, and why I didn’t choose to stop watching. I don’t know. To learn that I am thinking I’ll enter into therapy!

Kalki: Ambitious Adventure That Works In Parts!

 

Thanks to the success of Rajamouli everyone dreams of making epic movies. Some made and succeeded, whereas several others failed. And, it’s the trend now to make a movie in parts, something that wasn’t seen in Indian cinema for a century, while we were happily lapping up such fare dished out by Hollywood! 

Also, for long many filmmakers have tried to push mythology in the garb of modern day storytelling, without much success. And, lesser said the better about sci-fi movies in India. Now, we have Kalki 2898 that aspires to merge both these elements in one. 

As the title suggests, the movie is set in a (relatively) distant post-apocalyptic future, where few cities like Kashi have survived, and all rivers - including the mighty Ganga - have gone dry, and people are enslaved by an evil entity, Supreme Yaskin (Kamal Hassan),who rules from an inverted pyramid city hanging in the sky, called ‘Complex’. Yaskin, over 200 years old, survives on the serum extracted from pregnant women (who don’t survive beyond 100 days of pregnancy), and he’s seeking immortality by finding a woman whose pregnancy can last beyond 120 days. 

Kalki tells the story of the birth of the last avatar of Vishnu - as Kalki, as told to Ashwatthama - Amitabh Bachchan - in the battle of the Mahabharata. Because of Krishna’s curse, Ashwatthama stays immortal and is awaiting the birth of Kalki on earth for his salvation.  He is supposed to take birth on the darkest day in the last 6000 years, while the star ‘Ashwini’ is in ascendancy (oblique hat-tip to the director of the movie Nag Ashwin, and his father-in-law, and producer, Ashwini Dutt)

In the city of Kashi stays Bhairava (Prabhas), a raider/bounty hunter who’s never been beaten in any duel by anyone. He is street smart, has created his own AI programme-supercar, Buji (voiceover by Keerthy Suresh), has a smart mouth, a hot girl friend, and of course, a golden heart. 

Deepika stars as SUM-80, one of the lab rats of Yaskin, and even though she becomes pregnant, it doesn’t show up as positive in tests. Her pregnancy though gets revealed and she is pulled into the serum extraction process. However, before the process could get done - the Commander gets to extract just a drop - she is rescued by a rebel inside the ‘Complex’ and is whisked off towards ‘Shambala’, the rebel stronghold, led by Mariam (Shobhana). 

Ashwatthama in the meantime gets back his divine gem from a girl he saves from Yasmin’s forces. He also feels that the time for Kalki’s birth has come and sets about trying to find the mother. Bhairava too learns about the bounty on the head of Sum80 and drives towards the desert in pursuit. 

The rest of the first of what might even be a trilogy tells the tale of Deepika’s escape from Yaskin’s forces, the discovery of Shambala by Yaskin’s forces, Ashwatthama realising who Bhairava is. With that the stage is set for the ensuing parts. 

The canvas of the movie is huge, and the director has done a great job in the world building. The effort to blend mythology into science fiction needs to suspend one’s beliefs and requires a huge leap of faith, but I am sure the audiences would love this.  What works in the movie’s favour is that it doesn’t bring the characters from mythology as they were, but reimagines them differently. 

Those who read Mahabharata as young kids and idolised Karna would sure love re-imagining of Karna as the mightiest warrior of those times, even mightier than Arjuna (it quotes from the Bharata to justify this). I would wait for the subsequent parts to see if any other character from mythology are brought back to life (especially, if Arjuna is reimagined as the villain of the story). 

What works for the movie is the effort put into building a post-apocalyptic world, and the character of Ashwatthama, played with aplomb by Amitabh. Standing taller than any - he’s defined as an 8 feet man - and towering over the mighty he makes an imposing figure. He has dubbed for himself in Telugu too, and needless to say even here he aces it. The story of a world in ruins is new to most Indians (except those who consume a Hollywood diet of Mad Max and Terminator movies), and works well. Cinematography and music too are worth mentioning about, as they heighten the drama.  A host of actors and directors appear in cameos - including Rajamouli and Ramgopal Varma - and all that adds to the attraction of the film. 

The movie has major drawbacks too. One, it’s overlong and takes hours to set up the premise. The introduction of Bhairava consumes needless time. Plus, the humour falls flat all through - and the dialogues are cringey (except when mouthed by Amitabh). The biggest disappointment is Prabhas. His is a role anyone could have played, and played better. There’s not a muscle in his face that can act, and not a note in his voice that betrays an emotion.  There are some cop-outs, but I would not give them away, as it will reveal the story of second half. 

The worst fate of the movie though belongs to Deepika. I truly felt sad that she accepted the role (she looks amazing as usual, and plays the part with sincerity). Though supposedly playing a pivotal role of a mother who will birth the future savior, she is reduced to being one helpless whimpering mess, always at the mercy of others. One didn’t need an A-lister for this role; any extra could’ve done it just fine. Also, the lesson to take home is:

 a) it’s always a man who saves the world, and yes, it’s men again who ruin it too but they need women to survive;

b) gods too need a womb to take birth on earth, and save this world. 

Should you watch this movie? Yes, if you can endure the sluggish first half, and stay invested, and choose to ignore the gigantic plotholes, the size of moon’s craters. The second half picks up well and keeps you on the edge of the seat. I don’t know if 3-D is good or not, since my vision doesn’t allow me to experience it (even though I watched the 3-D version).  

Women Over Weekend

The long weekend was unexpected.  I didn't even know it was a holiday on Monday, until the last moment.  For a moment I rued over the fact that I wasn't in the mainland.  If I were, I could have planned for a nice getaway, were my thoughts (even though it hadn't happened in Bengaluru while being posted there, post-covid).  There were no friends to hang out with; two colleagues who used to be regular chums to spend time with, had moved away from the islands recently.  Another friend was away holidaying.  It meant I wouldn't have any company over the weekend.  

I looked at the things I could do - read, write, jog, workout, clean up the messy bedroom, etc.  I did some.  I wrote a story (which upset quite a few), I clocked some 25 km of walking and running, and read several articles.  The bedroom though, only got messier! Yet, there was still a lot of time on the hands (even after wasting many hours on the social media).  I surfed the multiple OTT platforms to see if I would want to watch anything.  I could not find anything exciting.  Then, I decided to fall back on the recommendations of friends (that were made mostly eons ago, but I was looking up them now).  Sathya had watched, 'Hidden Figures' (2016) and she wanted me too to watch and let her know how it was.  Everyone and her aunt was raving about 'Laapata Ladies' (plus some people were coming out of woodwork too, to claim that their work was plagiarised).  Then there was something I had forgotten to watch despite many recommendations and people going ga-ga over, 'Kaathal the Core'.  I decided I will watch them all.  I even threw in a Kannada movie for a good measure. And, a Jennifer Lopez starter, ‘Atlas’ into the melee. While 'Laapata Ladies' and ‘Atlas’ were on Netflix, the other three movies were found on Amazon Prime. 

One interesting fact about all the movies I watched was, they all either were women-centric (where a woman was the protagonist), or had a woman in a prominent role.  Not in my entire life had I seen so many women-centric movies together ever, over a weekend.  This was a first!

'Hidden Figures' tells the story of women in NASA and their role in putting the first American into space - not just any women, but black women.  It was the time of segregation and the kind of hardships these women - told through the lenses of Katherine Gobles, Dorothy Vaughan, and Mary Jackson, mathematicians and manual computers who dare to dream big - and how they overcome is a great tale of empowerment.  Even though the movie is based on real life people and events, it takes several liberties in tweaking the actual incidents to create drama.  Theodore Melfi has directed this drama that primarily focuses on the story of Katherine Gobles, and her contribution - and the trials and tribulations she faces for being a woman and a black woman at that - towards placing the first American astronaut in space.  

When a position of a computer (before the arrival of personal computers, people who excelled at computing quickly worked in the scientific organisations as computers) arises in the core team of the space mission at NASA, Katherine gets called in, and soon she becomes the indispensable one for the calculations need advanced knowledge of analytical geometry.  How she continues to stay relevant even after the IBM machine makes its presence felt forms the crux of the story.  Elsewhere, Dorothy who leads all the Black women computers is fighting her own battle of survival and progress; she wants to be officially recognised as the supervisor, a position that is reserved for White women.  At the same time, Mary is taking on the powers-that-be to break into the male bastion of 'engineers'; she wants to enroll into a degree and for that she goes to the court of law.  These are the figures that we do not learn about, and hence the word 'Hidden' in the title.  

The movie is heartwarming, uplifting, and devoid of needless drama, and focuses majorly on the story it wants to tell, without too many deviations.  The acting is competent, and so is the recreation of the atmosphere of the 60s.  What doesn't fit well in it is the saviour complex that the White Men suffer - and how Kevin Costner's role had to be enhanced to show him as the saviour of the Blacks and their dignity in a sequence or two.  It sure adds to the drama and makes for great viewing, but it does a disservice to all those women who truly fought for their rights and freedom.  Also, the lives of these women away from work looked too perfect to be true - everything rightly falling in place, and not a worry to fret about apart from their rights.  Regardless, I still totally recommend watching this movie.  It was just a little over 50 years ago that Blacks were still fighting segregation.  There would be lessons for those anti-reservation people of India too.

'Laapata Ladies' directed by Kiran Rao (Aamir's ex wife) and produced by Aamir Khan didn't last long in the theatres, but has been making a lot of right kind of noises ever since its debut on the OTT.  People have raved about it, the song 'O Sajni Re' has become very popular for making reels, and suddenly Kiran Rao is just more than Aamir's ex wife too.  

Set in a fictional place (somewhere in the Hindi heartland where all possible Hindi dialects, accents, practices mix and make a heady cultural mix) in the early 2000s, the movie tells the tale of a mix-up of newly married brides, and one of the brides arriving wrongly at one destination, while another frantically trying to reach where she is supposed to be at! Along the way it sheds light on the regressive practices of ghunghat (veil covering the face), denial of education to women, and denial of agency.  

Rahul is getting back to his village post his marriage with Phool.  It's the big wedding season and there are several similar newly-weds in the train, and he gets off in the dead of the night with the wrong bride - discovered only when she lifts her veil and says she's Pushpa.  This leads to a frantic search for Phool by Deepak and his friends.  Meanwhile, Phool who discovers that she's been left behind makes railway station her home and finds kindness among those other inhabitants, and hopes to find her way back to her sasural.  The protagonist though is 'Pushpa' who has wrongly entered the household of Deepak. Who is she and what are her motives? These are slowly laid bare by the time we reach climax.  

'Laapata Ladies' is an absolute feel-good movie that tells the essential story of the need to empower women in India. And, the story-telling is first-class, and so are the acting chops by most of the cast.  Even though 'Pushpa' does not look the part as a rural girl, she does a commendable job, and so do Deepak and others. Of course, the movie is far from being realistic. Hardly anyone is evil or bad here (save for one); even the corrupt police want to be helpful and play the 'good samaritan' role. It is a movie where the girls on the run find protective people to shelter with, and do not have to face any of the brutal circumstances that might happen in reality.  Barring that, this is a little gem that cannot be missed. 

'Kaathal - the Core' is a Malayalam movie that released last year and created waves - for the subject it handled. Jeo Baby has directed this movie.  He had made waves with his first outing, 'The Great Indian Kitchen' too, which dealt with patriarchy in middle-class Kerala households in a very Margaret Atwood-esque way (though of course the ending isn't like her books).  (Margaret Atwood because he didn't name any of the characters in the movie). Expectations from Kaathal were surely high because Mammootty not only acted as the lead, but also produced the movie.  

Mammootty is Mathew Devassy, a taciturn but affable man in his middle ages living in a small Kerala village.  He is a member of a Communist Party, and is asked by the party to contest a local by-election, as the ward seat falls vacant.  Jyothika plays Omana, his wife.  They have a daughter who is studying in the city.  The household is completed by Mathew's old father (who also is a man of few words like his son).  The director places the church at the very centre of the movie and it plays a very firm character; the songs in the movie take off from the choir.  Omana is shown as a devout Christian, regularly attending the masses, and lighting candles, and praying before every meal.  

The seemingly 'perfect family' picture is broken when the news spreads that Omana has filed for divorce, on the grounds that Mathew is a homosexual.  Is the accusation of Omana true? Even her own brother sides with his brother-in-law!

All the drama in the movie comes from the people around the household.  The party workers, the churchgoers, and the supposed voters.  The household though maintains its calm, outwardly.   The movie later becomes a court drama.  Several unpleasant questions are asked, and many marital secrets tumble out of the closet as the case unfolds at the Pala Municipal Court. Mathew tries to speak in monosyllables, Omana refuses to twist facts for the sake of an easy win, and just when she appears to be losing, she brings in a star witness that tilts the case in her favour. 

The movie is set nicely amidst an election, where the hero could become something bigger, and the court case comes as an embarrassment that could make his plans go awry.  When characters express Omana could have filed the case at another time and not now, even the viewer might side with that opinion, as someone rooting for the appealing Mammootty. But, the film hurtles towards the climax where Mammootty seeks forgiveness from Jyothika (and Devassy from his son for having forced him to marry).  

Kaathal surely is a landmark movie for treating homosexuality with compassion and not either as a disease or a condition to be pitied about.  It stays absolutely equanimous in its treatment of the subject and steadfastly avoids being melodramatic.  Some of the scenes hit home hard. Acting is first rate.  My grouse? A few for sure.  The movie treats Mammootty's character with kid-gloves, and tries to gloss over his follies.  It becomes even more evident when you hear Jyothika tell him why she fought the case. Nor does he once say the word 'gay' or 'homosexual' - that felt strange for a man who agreed to play the role.  And, not many emotions are visible anymore on Mammootty's face after too many facelifts and botox treatments.  If you haven't watched it yet, don't miss it.  

I also said I watched two other movies.  'Atlas' of Jennifer Lopez, and a Kannada movie called, 'Dauther of Parvathamma'.  Both totally forgettable, and avoidable fare.  Now, I am wondering what to watch next.  Any suggestions?

KJ & His Movies: Enigma and Indulgence

Sitting in Port Blair, there are not many avenues for entertainment except nature.  You do not have swanky malls nor snazzy fast food joints. When you are bored of the beach, the option to fall back on is either head for a movie (at one of the two multiplexes with smalls screens) or for a drink at a watering hole nearby.  I did both over the weekend - watched Rocky Aur Rani Ki Prem Kahaani and headed for a drink at the very affordable and awesome Drifters Lounge.

When it comes to Karan Johar's movies, there are no half measures.  Everything is mounted on a huge canvas.  The rich are screamingly rich, and the educated are snobbishly so.  It applies to his latest offering too.  There is nothing subtle in the movie, 'Rocky aur Rani...', except for the pastel shades of Alia's sarees.  The dominant colour of the movie is red.  Everything is verbalised, either as a dialogue (sometimes even garrulous), or as a song (sometimes they add to the narrative, and at others, they stall the movie).  But, you cannot but enjoy almost every bit of the movie.  I was taken by surprise for its cinematic force.

The movie doesn't take time to bring the hero and heroine together, but what grabs eyeballs is the senior romance - between Dharmendra (as Rocky's grand pa) and Shabana (Alia's grand ma).  There is a further interesting twist too - they both are married to others (while Shabana's widowed, Dharmendra is still wedded to the shrewd businesswoman, Jaya Bachhan, but left without memory after an accidental fall in his youth).  Bringing these two together, as a last resort to restore the memory of his grandfather, gabru Rocky falls for the fiesty Rani.  A loud, moneyed, Rocky and his Punjabi family stand for everything garrulous, garish, and grand.  Alia and her Bengali family is the definition of passive aggression.  Rocky is hardly educated, while Alia is an anchor at a news channel.  

How Rocky and Rani then convince their families to agree to their match forms the rest of the story.  There is nothing new in the story.  It ticks off every box in predictability list.  Introduction of the hero/heroine and setting up their characters.  Rich have no class.  The classy ones are snooty bitches. Every trope is thrown in and some more.  Women not having a voice in affluent household.  A hat-tip to Yash Chopra too through a song in snow - with Alia in (what else but) sheer chiffons.  But the movie doesn't stand out and become watchable for these elements, but for the surprises it introduces even amidst them.  

The movie brings up multiple relevant issues - women and their agency, gender roles, patriarchy, and feminism.  Not as words or concepts, but through characters, situations, and consequences.  Rocky and Rani confront their own inner prejudices before the eventual reunion.  Along the way, Rocky's sister - overweight and rejected by umpteen arranged matches - finds her groove, and stands up for herself in front of her father and granny.  Rocky's mother too discovers there is more to a woman than a good marriage and loyalty towards family.  Similarly, Rani learns love doesn't always happen between two similar people - education or lack of it is no barrier. Ranveer doesn't blanch when Alia says she has had boyfriends before.  Rani's father's choice of profession - a dancer (and hence effeminate/non-masculine -finds respect among those who sneer at first.  Rani's mother learns that snobbery is not class. Ranveer doesn't blanch when Alia says she has had boyfriends before. All these happen over extremely well-executed set-pieces.  The best sequence award goes to the 'Dola Re' reimagined with Ranveer and Tota Roy Chowdhury (playing Alia's father).  It was evident when the entire audience burst into spontaneous clapping at the end of it (a huge surprise it happened in a small town like Port Blair).

Karan has returned to direction after a long hiatus (his last movie, Ae Dil Hai Mushkil, released in 2016; though it was a success, it appeared he was out of depth).  And, the rich, Punjabi setting is his forte, a firm wicket which he doesn't fail to take advantage of, and hits it out of the park.  

KJ has been a less-celebrated pioneer of sorts in India cinema, possibly because every movie of his is a mass entertainer, and not art-house certified.  He broke the taboo and brought homosexuality to the mainstream movies as a producer, first as gags and jokes involving Saif and Shah Rukh in 'Kal Ho Na Ho', and a faux-gay romance in 'Dostana'.  Same-sex love entered common drawing room conversations from here - a feat many may refuse to acknowledge.  He followed up by directing a hard-hitting short in 'Bombay Talkies', and then with an extremely heart-felt 'Kapoor and Sons' by Shakun Batra.  

The messages on patriarchy, gender, and women's agency may not resonate with the purists (of either cinema or concepts), but I am certain this is a great beginning where a common person gets to understand a different point of view, and without resistance.  Everytime the concepts of patriarchy or feminism are uttered, it somehow brings out the worst among cis-gendered men (and conformists).  This movie steers clear of it and yet brings out their effects so well.  Of course the entire movie is implausible - but there also lies its ability to make people relate to it.  In a very entertaining way. It never gets too real to unsettle the viewer.  

There sure are drawbacks in the movie.  It's overlong - they could have cut the length by at least 15 minutes (just eliminate those songs, dammit).  Jaya Bachhan's performance is one-note, very caricature-ish, and possibly her worst-ever.  Alia has done these acting chops before and does not bring anything new to her role. Her dance moves need a lot of improvement too.  Music by Pritam is pedestrian.  These though are minor hiccups when compared to the movie's entertainment quotient, extremely an competent Ranveer, and other supporting cast led by a very graceful Tota Roy Chowdhury.  The scene-stealers though are the vintage Dharam and Shabana.  Every time they appear on screen, they consume everyone around them.  Add to this, the excellent use of old melodies, especially the ever-hummable beauty, 'Abhi Na Jaao Chhodkar' by Jaidev.  

I was hesitant to watch this movie.  Not a crazy fan of KJ's style of movie-making (hated his Kuchh Kuchh Hota Hai), nor a fan of Ranveer.  But, they trumped the naysayer in me with this offering.  I totally recommend watching it; it is sheer joie de vivre.  

Spectre: Review

Bond movies have never stopped generating curiosity.  They are in the news over the last 5 decades for all the reasons most watch movies.  And, in today's world where media has encompassed every aspect of life, any news is good news.  There were sniggers and sneers along with whistles and bells when it was announced that Monica Bellucci was part of the cast.  Overnight Craig became the darling of the feminists too when he declared famously in an interview that Bond is a misogynist.  He made all the politically correct noises.  

'Spectre' was on my 'to watch' list for all the reasons above.  When AP suggested we watch this - we were meeting after many years and I was watching a movie after many months - I readily jumped at it.  Another friend, MA was kind enough to drop us at the cinema. He refused to join us though as he didn't want to face hellfire at home.  We made it in time - even had time for some corn, coffee and conversations before the movie started.  

The movie opens with a bang - reminds the viewer of the entry in Skyfall too; both the movies are directed by Sam Mendes.  Set amidst a Mexican fair celebrating the dead, the set piece buzzes with high energy accentuated by foot-tapping musci.  The audience gets prepared for more thrilling action and an engaging fare. I was grinning too as the movie shows multiple locales that I have been to in the recent past.

Then the disappointments begin.  The opening number is slow and so un-Bond-like.  It almost felt that I was listening to a lullaby.  You realize that Monica is only making a special appearance and isn't the Bond girl (what a pity)! Mendes tries to bring in the gravitas of the movies based on John le Carre's works and eases the pace and yet compromises on the content - a lousy screenplay and a hackneyed plot.  What you get is a slow movie with a harebrained story.  There are fewer bangs for the buck as the movie has a runtime of nearly two and a half hours.  I just wondered if I was watching Prem Ratan Dhan Payo!  The regular humour that one finds in the Bond films is missing too (or falls so flat that nobody laughed).  A brooding Bond is only as good as his cause.  Without one, he comes across as avoidable sour-face! 

The Numbers that Matter!

Not mathematics.  It's time to talk about those magical numbers that get most men and several women heat up for different reasons! Item numbers!! Even the die-hard fans of off-beat cinema need a break and they too watch inane (yet highly entertaining) commercial movies!  And, what movie today in India is complete without an item number? These numbers were once the monopoly of the vamps - Helen, Bindu and Padma Khanna in Hindi and Jayamalini, Jyothilakshmi and Silk Smitha in the South  - the sirens who provided the much-needed-oomph.  A few heroines in the 70s (and early 80s) tried to bridge this and performed some sizzling numbers - Zeenat in Qurbani for example, rocked the entire country.  So did Parveen Babi in Namak Halaal.  But these were exceptions and not the rule.  Most heroines preferred to be Adarsh Bharatiya Naris (at least) on screen and weren't willing to experiment much.  

Today they're performed by the lead actors.  Either acting as heroine in the movie or appearing just for the song and vanishing soon after.  And special budgets are being created to mount such songs in absolute grandeur.  Even those who pooh-poohed this trend earlier came back only to shake their booties later.  Like Madhuri and Kareena!  A lot of hype is also created around such numbers in the media to attract audiences to the cinema.  Sunny Leone's number in Shootout at Wadala, anyone?

This post is inspired heavily by the one posted by Dame A (her humour and chutzpah aren't my forte though). And, hence dedicated to her and to Shraddha, my new friend here in The Hague.  I am randomly listing the top 10 numbers from Bollywood that have stayed fresh in memory. 
P.S. I have consciously avoided numbers performed by the leading ladies themselves in their own movies.

1.  Chamma Chamma (China Gate)

This possibly should be called the song that started the trend of item numbers by heroines in movies.  The movie by the usually decent RajKumar Santoshi was otherwise absolutely forgettable was brought to life only because of the sensuous Urmila's gyrations and the foot-tapping music!  Wonder where Anu Mallik copied this tune from!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LFQNne6EG2g

2.  Dekh Le (Munnabhai MBBS)

This number by the lissome and lithe Mumait Khan certainly heated up the proceedings - and not just for Zaheer!  Suneedhi Chauhan's vocals can't be forgotten either.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8YDmUhZ_mO0

3.  Saaki Saaki (Musafir)

Koena Mitra oozed all her sensuality in her song such that nothing much else could she do later! Sukhvinder Singh adds further zest with his sultry voice!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yY2Rd5cxGos

4.  Kajra Re (Bunty Aur Bubbly)

The song that made the nation sit up and take note that there was life (and warmth) in the icy beauty Icewarya Rai.  Never did she look this seductive before nor after.  Gulzar's playful lyrics and Alisha's (surprise surprise) honeyed crooning raise the bar further!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DovUEruZ2q4

5.  UP-Bihar Lootne (Shool)

List of item songs and no Shilpa?  I guess that's not possible :)  So, here's that sizzling one that continues to be played in UP and Bihar to this day (wish I could find a better quality video though)!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hBoZjGbYG0U

6.  Maiya Maiya (Guru)

Mallika for once made news for all the right steps - and it wasn't just hype like most times!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0j7TAqhDwJo

7.  Chikni Chameli (Agneepath)

I couldn't believe when I saw the thanda Katrina burning the screen with this scalding laavni-inspired number.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r7zqLiZ1GOo

8.  Baby Doll (Ragini MMS 2)

This is the exception in the list - where the lead actress features in the item number.  And, there's nothing subtle about Sunny and everythings in your face - what you see is what you get!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9UDOzOTssyE

9.  Babuji Zara Dheere Chalo (Dum)

Yana's scene-stealing screen-scorching turn was the only saving grace of this dud of a movie.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QCvFxPRL_5g

10.  Munni Badnaam Hui (Dabangg)

Each time Malaika features in a song it's certain to be smoking hot and ultra-foot-tapping.  But, I tried not to have more than one song for any actor.  And, boy, was it difficult to choose!!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jn5hsfbhWx4

Ideally the list should have featured 'Beedi Jalaile' of Bipasha and 'Aisa Jadoo Dala Re' of  Lara Dutta.  And, Kareena's 'Mere Photo Ko'.  Even Aamir Khan's 'Dole Dole' from Baazi should make it.  Also, this list - sadly - has only songs from Bollywood.  There are umpteen - equally if not better - item numbers from the South that I know of.  May be I should make a compilation sans languages and invite all my friends to some drinks.  And, dance like there's no tomorrow!

The Dirty Picture: Vidya Takes It All!

The amount of publicity generated by Vidya Balan starrer, “The Dirty Picture” wasn’t unprecedented nor surprising.  After all it was avowedly the biopic of Silk Smitha, the screen Sex Goddess of 80s.  Dark, luscious and dreamy-eyed oomph girl who dominated the South Indian movie scene.  Famously, an apple half-eaten by her sold to a sum of Rs 100 in those days!  She had named the pets at her home by the names of producers!  It’s been almost 2 decades since she committed suicide but she still generates more columns than many top actresses of today put together.

It was however a surprise when Vidya was announced the heroine of ‘The Dirty Picture’.  I wasn’t too impressed with Milan Luthria at the helm of affairs – a pretender at the craft, at best.  When I was offered the tickets on a platter on a Friday evening in Saddi Dilli (accompanied by my interesting group of friends), I wasn’t one to back out – despite my migraine.  The story, I knew, was predictable.  If any thing, the movie would rely heavily on how taut the screenplay would be. 

The film opens interestingly and chugs along swimmingly, on the now rather broad-shouldered Vidya.  Double entendres are aplenty – the most popular being the ‘pichkari’ dialogue.  Par for the course for a bold movie, so you don’t really flinch.  Skin show is the order of the day or every scene.  You know the by-now-I’m-on-everyone’s-minds story.  Small-town/village girl running away to city, finding opportunities after struggle and sacrifice, superstardom and the plummet. 

However, the movie hits air-pocket post interval, gets way too long even for its runtime of 2hrs and 20mins and you feel suddenly want to go home.  (Of course it might be because I got squeamish to watch the leading lady’s impending doom and demise). 

If anything the movie is eminently watchable because of Vidya and (surprise surprise) Emraan Hashmi.  Vidya is OTT and restrained in the most beautiful way.  Her growth as a star and the way she’s put on weight over time for the role and unselfconsciously displays herself is a lesson to the rest of the heroines.  I doubt if anyone among the top Indian actresses would’ve done justice to this role the Viday’s grabbed it and made it her own – giving her every inch of body and mind to it.  Be it in the seductive scene in the bath-tub, playing the mob in order to screw up a party to which she’s not invited or when she breaks down finally reading what was always written about her or when she spews venom at a new starlet.  The only (minor) complaint would be about her at-times-affected-and-stilted dialogue delivery.  Emraan Hashmi has never been this good ever (and yes, he gets to kiss Vidya but then everyone does) as an actor and he’s playing an author-backed role for a change.  And, Naseeruddin Shah is effortlessly wonderful in his role as an ageing superstar Surya.

Beyond these three people, the movie flounders and falls apart terribly.  The screenplay is shoddy and written by a sleepwalking Rajat Arora adding nothing new to a beaten track – a million movies have already been made about female stars and their tragedies and he doesn’t tell anything new here.   Apart from those three lead roles, the only two other roles that are well-etched are that of the producer Selva Das (competent Rajesh Sharma, of the ‘No One Killed Jessica’ fame) and the journo Nayla (an uber-cool Anju Mahendroo, a treat to watch appearing after a l.o.n.g time on screen).  Tusshar is a shame – both his role and his histrionics.  He looks lost and apologetic throughout.  Others are forgotten the moment they disappear from the screen

There are some more positives about the movie though.  The music is class (Bappi and Vishal-Shekhar).  And, the tone of the story-telling is uniformly non-judgmental.   This saves me from judging Milan’s efforts behind the camera as ordinary.  Watch the movie at least to savour Vidya’s performance.  She’ll stay on your mind many days to come.  However, if you have no stomach for the gaudy stuff or the below-the-belt dialogues or loads of titillation, stay at home.  This movie is not for you if you can't stare at reality.

P.S. Everyone of course would be curious to know if Vidya's as seductive as Silk was.  Don't even compare. :)  And, beyond the first few scenes, you'll forget though the movie's about Silk Smitha as Vidya completely takes over.

Enthiran/Robot: Review

Rajni-mania surely is not limited to Tamil Nadu.  All the English new channels too were in its throes thanks to the release of his latest movie, ‘Robot’/’Enthiran’.  There were multitudes of reasons for it to generate so much buzz; it was being directed by Shankar (of multiple blockbusters fame, who made superstars out of Arjun Sarja and Prabhu Deva); it was going to be the most expensive movie ever made in India;  at last Rajni was getting to act with Aishwarya Rai after repeated failed attempts (in ‘Baba’, ‘Shivaji’ and possibly, ‘Chandramukhi’), and that it was Rajni’s first release after 3 long years.  I had crinkled my (rather thick) nose at the trailers though.  “May be too much hype and little hope”, I thought to myself (couldn’t loudly voice this, lest a Rajni fan heard and caused me irreparable damage, Enthiran style).   But, watch the movie, I did, gleefully – hoping to get enough reasons to crib and carp on the movie (not coz of Rajni – I love him, but coz of Shankar – who I think is overrated as a director).

Dr Vasigaran (Rajni) is a scientist who invents a humanoid robot after ten years of research.  He wants the prototype to be approved by the highest research body in India so he could produce more such humanoids which can be used in the Army in place of soldiers, thereby saving umpteen lives.  Dr. Bora (Danny Dengzongpa, superb) – his mentor and Chief of the research accreditation agency – also turns out to be Vasi’s adversary, as he’s failed to develop  a humanoid robot himself. Rajni wants to establish the ‘utility’ of the invention.  So, you have the robot (Chitti) bashing up the baddies, saving women and children from a major fire and even delivering a baby at the hospital.  But Danny wants to deny Rajni his due.  In order to prove Danny wrong Rajni helps the robot develop emotions in it.  Add Sana (Aishwarya Rai, gorgeous) to this melting pot, who gets caught between the love of the machine and its maker.   And, the story heads to a heady climax. 

The movie is a classic Indian tale of love-triangle and good vs. evil.  That is the strength of the movie.  There are no pretensions of it being an English movie nor is the plot borrowed from any Hollywood venture.  Another strength of the movie is Rajini who excels in both as the scientist and as Chitti, the robot.  He is stupendous as Chitti that turns evil.  Aishwarya though has a pivotal role, she’s not expected to break a sweat.  Danny is menacing.  There’s hardly anything to do for anyone else (including the two side-kicks of Rajni).  Shankar borrows heavily from Hollywood movies while showcasing the special effects.  You have scenes that remind you of The Terminator (many scenes, including the prototype of the robot under development by Danny), The Mask (yeah, check it out for yourself), The Matrix (of course) and hold your breath, Anaconda!  It however must be mentioned that the SFX are SUPERB.  And, they are so well-enmeshed into the script you rarely notice that they’re special effects! 

If there’s something to crib about the movie, it’s its length.  At 3 hours it gets too exhaustive.  Adding to the misery are the horrible songs (Rahman at his CWG worst) – and in Hindi, they sound downright cacophonic.  Some of the characters are so silly (the two sidekicks of Rajnikanth) that they grate on your nerves instead of making you laugh.  The strength of the movie – the perils of creating a machine with ‘almost’ human abilities and the absolute danger of further making them human (with feelings and behaviour) – almost gets drowned in the long-drawn digital climax.  I really wish the movie were at least half an hour (ideally, one hour) shorter than what it is.  It’d have made for riveting watch with a message. 

I still recommend the movie though.  If you can forgive the director for his excesses and the megalomania of a scientist who wants the robot to look like him J

Searching for the Stars

There was pre-release buzz. It wasn't hype. Rave reviews followed the release. Everyone talked about it. Trade pundits were taken by surprise when the movie started raking in the moola too - thanks largely to good word of mouth publicity. It took me however five weeks to convince myself to watch Taare Zameen Par though - Aamir Khan's directorial debut.

The movie - everyone already knows - is about a dyslexic child. The movie scores because of its new theme, marvelous performance by Darsheel Safary (playing Ishaan, the child protagonist with learning disabilities) and focused story-telling. Since everyone has already spoke how good the movie is I'll restrict myself to what comes naturally to me - criticising and picking holes!

Despite having a new, refreshing story, the script sticks to the old formula. So, Amol Gupte ensures that the script has enough to empty everyone's tear glands. Hindi script-writers still cannot come out of the time-warp they are in - you've succeeded in sensitising the movie-goer ONLY if you've made him/her cry senseless!

It's just Aamir Khan who recognises that the child has dyslexia - and that too because he too had suffered a similar fate in the childhood. The boy's parents are at least upper-middle-class in the movie but they don't know dyslexia. And, they really act as though they're retarded themselves! Ditto teachers, principal and fellow students. It takes one with a disability to understand another! So, a physically challenged Rajan is the only friend (apart from his elder brother) Ishaan can have! That's the saddest part of the movie. All characters in the movie are uni-dimensional. Except of course the lead actors Darsheel and Aamir. Father is permanently sour-faced, mother perennially shedding tears or showing irritation, teachers always ready to give a sound beating. It gets a little tiring.

All this could easily have been forgiven. But for the climax.The movie ends on a happy note. Ishaan makes 'improvement' in learning. Everyone is pleased. That is the most irritating thing. NOBODY changes but the child. Everyone is happy because he becomes or is becoming 'normal'.

Despite all this I still recommend everyone who has NOT seen the movie to go and watch it. I really liked it while it lasted. One last thing. Aamir Khan is really large-hearted. When the credits roll you'll notice that!

Pokiri, the film - a few comments

I watched ‘Pokiri’ last night – the latest smash hit (I don’t know if it’s his latest actually) of Mahesh Babu. It’s a departure for both the director and the lead actor. Mahesh otherwise known for his extremely chocolate looks and clean movies delivers a thumping performance as a ruffian and a cold-blooded contract killer and Puri Jagannadh, known for light comedies largely starring either Srikanth or Raviteja (the velugubantu, or the grizzly bear) makes an out-and-out action thriller.

I’m not doing a review of the movie here. The movie has been a cult hit already and it’s being made in Hindi too (don’t know who’s gonna star in it though but I would’ve preferred to see Mahesh Babu again). I just want to talk about the importance of getting the facts right by a film-maker – at least the simple facts.

1. Police Officers of the IPS are trained in Dehradun is what the movie says. But the NPA is located in Hyderabad, the capital of Andhra (and the movie is a Telugu one)!
2. The first posting of an IPS Officer is either DySP or ACP. The movie shows an IPS Officer working under an ACP (and that too a promotee)!
3. The hero’s illiterate (among many other things) but in one scene he clearly reads what’s printed on the heroine’s t-shirt (probably the hero forgot this when he saw her)!

I hope we’d not be subjected to anymore factual distortions in its remake!

'Guru' of Inspiration

The release of ‘Guru’ has sparked a rehashed debate in the media. It’s all about biopics. It’s old hat now that ‘Guru’ is based on the life of Dhirubhai Ambani (though none acknowledges it for different reasons). One of the allegations about ‘Guru’ was that it either justifies the corrupt acts of the protagonist or sweeps them under the carpet without addressing them. This applies to all the movies made on Indian personalities by Indians. I'm not trying to review 'Guru' as a movie here and I don't intend to either (again, I don't think Mani is a great film maker).

The cult of hero-worship might take centuries to leave the Indian shores. Any supposed misrepresentation of almost any leader (especially political; it could even be a movie star, if it’s in the South of the Vindhyas) could result in riots, violence and deaths. The recent case in point is the vandalisation of an Ambedkar statue. In such a society can a biopic true to the person’s life be made? I really doubt.

The ONLY biopic that has been a hit in the country was ‘Gandhi’. No other movie has been a hit made on a contemporary Indian – be it Nehru, Sardar, Ambedkar or Bose. Motion pictures based on other freedom fighters (more legendary than historical) like Mangal Pandey (Mangled Pandey?) or Bhagat Singh have bitten the dust.

Indians adore the special status their leaders enjoy. Leaders are legends. Leaders leave behind their legends. They are never mere mortals. Either in life or death. They can do no wrong. Any attempt to ‘humanise’ (a strange term indeed to describe most of the Indian leaders) would surely meet a catastrophic end.

You can make movies ‘based on’ or ‘inspired’ by living, dead or immortal legends (like Bal Thackeray, Parveen Babi, Indira Gandhi or even Sonia Gandhi). You’ll have crowds thronging to the theatres and soon your movie would be a super-hit. But don’t ever mess with the legends by making a movie on them directly. Indians love legends and the halo around them. Don’t demystify. Any attempt and you’ll learn at a great cost! Ask Shyam Benegal!